Emotions

Hi friends.

I know it's been a while. I have missed you. The whole 5 of y'all that still read my abandoned blog.

Life has been a whirlwind and I can't seem to steady myself. Lots has happened in the past few weeks.

Let me break it down in no particular order.

Mother's Day: It was a great day. I pretty much stayed home and relaxed. Hubby made me breakfast in the morning and that afternoon we had a picnic with the kids where we were almost attacked by pigeons for our lunchables (classy aren't we?). Later hubby made me dinner. It was lovely except the part where I spoke to my mother. It was great to hear her voice and I sure do miss her. I haven't seen her since December and she lives like 30 minutes away. But that's beside the point.  We chatted for a while and I asked her about my youngest brother.  I hadn't heard from him in about a month. He’s usually good about calling every few weeks and is always on Facebook obsessively. Well I found out why he's been so quiet.

My brother is in jail: My throat closes up just typing that. He is 19 and is the sweetest boy at heart but can't manage to stay out of trouble. He is being charged with some really serious crimes and my heart feels like it's literally breaking. 

I got promoted:  If you’ve read my blog for a while you know that I’ve tested quite a few times with no success.  I was starting to think it would never happen.  Traditionally the results would come out in June for those that scored high enough.  However, I got promoted under a different program.  Basically they do a narrative write up of your career and submit it to a board.  The board picks the ones that they thing are hot shit and they get promoted immediately.  Yes.  Apparently I’m hot shit.  I got a phone call on Tuesday night at home from a 2-star general telling me that I had been selected.  I had to scramble to get new stripes sewn on my uniform but I managed. It’s still unbelievable.  It also comes with a pay raise (around 300 bucks a month I think) so that’s awesome.

My supervisor is retiring: Ugh.  I’ve only been here 8 months and she’s leaving me.  We technically she’s moving across the hall in a non-military position but still the same, she’s leaving me.  This means that I have to take on her duties until they replace her.  Unless they decide I’m the one to replace her because I just got promoted.  Which means they may find someone to replace me.  Which means I will be a supervisor.  Which means OHMYGOD don’t have enough to do already?

I started writing this post yesterday and I was going to tell you all how my dog has been sick.

Well between yesterday and today she has passed away.

My dog died: I had my Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel and Poodle mix) dog Princess since the summer before I started 10^th grade.  That means I’ve had her just about 15 years.  That’s a long life for a dog.  My dog.  She recently picked her leg and it became a sore.  We cleaned it and wrapped it but she kept picking at it.  We took her in yesterday and for some reason she had developed and infection in her leg which is why she kept picking at it.  It must have been painful.  Between her losing her eyesight, her hearing and just being plain old they decided it would be in her best interest to put her down.

And so it was done.  It’s amazing how quickly the whole process went.  They vet hospital team was very professional and very sweet.  They thanked me for taking such good care of her and bringing her in so that she wasn’t in pain.  But it makes my heart sad.  I can’t remember her NOT being around. And now I look at her water bowl and her leash and feel like a part of our family is missing.

You don’t realize how much animals are a part of your family until you lose one of them.  We haven’t told Lael yet.  She knew Princess wasn’t feeling well and she had been spending time in daddy’s man-cave.  She hasn’t asked about her and I think I’ll wait until next week when we pick up her ashes to tell her.  She’s going to be devastated.  Do y'all remember how she was when Boots died?  Exactly.

Kobi will be 1!:I am full of so many emotions and on top of everything my baby will be one on Saturday.  How did this happen?  How could y'all have let this happen??

I am excited for his party but sad at the same time.  So many things are going on.  I find myself daydreaming more than usual.  I just need things to slow down.  Just a bit.