My Ankles Are ALWAYS Warm

Many of my fellow bloggy friends have done a Twitter recap before.

In honor of today be Lovey Love Smootchie Wootchie day I thought I do something a little along those lines.

Me and hubby have been together 10 years and married for 6.  He always makes me laugh, always has and I'm sure always will.

So in honor of my hubby, I thought I give you a little sneek preview into some of his FB comments and so forth.

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Just moved tons of snow!! After the Snowjob comes the .......Feb 6


(In response to a "Do You Think Keyona is a Virgin" quiz: Please!! She only wears panties to keep her ankles warm.....Feb 10


Just gave Suki an enema...He is following me around just like Keyona after I bust that ass........Jan 27


Promises the scratches on his back are from falling on a rake........Jan 17


Wishes he could "clean" himself the SAME way his dogs do.......Jan 14


Heard something about a meeting in the ladies room......Jan 12


Needs help naming his man juice......Jan 11


Need I say more?

God I love my man....even when he embarrasing the SHIT out of me on Facebook.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I Live With Peter Pan

Yes....I am having ANOTHER baby with him.  *sigh*

Scenes From SnOMG! 2010

So we got a shitload of snow here in DC.

Enough that I have not left the house since Friday morning (to get my hair did of course).

It's Tuesday now and we are expecting another 20 inches or HOPEFULLY less. Honestly...I'm ok with it. The kids haven't been driving me too crazy and me and hubby have kept our distance as to not strangle each other.

The kids get out to play in the snow and get to watch tv, play rock band, put on a few fashion shows and I even managed to have Lael work in some workbooks and practice her spelling words.

It's been cool but I am ready for the Spring.

Here was the view from my window on Saturday.



What's snow without a snowball fight?




Guess I should have invested in some snow pants for Lael, but seriously, who knew?

 

Here are my snow babies and my husbands chest behing them. See the boards on the house behind them?  That was the one that caught fire a few weeks ago.



This is what Cabin Fever may or may not look like. Ok, she just regular crazy. :)



Of course I used my Hot Chocolate maker to thaw off those little fingers.




And what better way to warm up than snuggling with your sister in a Snuggie.



Stay warm everyone.  Some of my local blog friends are going crazy.  Some are out of power so lets keep all of them in your thoughts as we prepare for SnOMG! part deuce.

Can You Guess Who Took Shots Of My Ass?

I took this picture before we went Lael's first game last Friday. Cute right?

 

Once I got to the game I realized I couldn't coach and take pictures at the same time.  This is when I passed it to one of the parents who had forgotten their camera. 

Cool right?  They would take pictures of their kid and mine.

Except.

Most of the pictures turned out like this:
(Me trying to get up off my knees)



Or this one where I was nicely bent over cheering the girls on as they prepared for their half-time cheer.



Or this one where I am BLINKING! Are you serious?



He (yes of course it was a man) did manage to get one good picture.



How cute is she?  Oh and Lael is cute to huh? Ha!

Happy Friday!

I Blame My Hormones...And Her Mother

I have a confession.

I love coaching cheerleading.

Ok, well that's not the real confession but I feel I need to put that out there as a disclaimer.

The truth is.....there is one little girl on my squad....

That I can't stand.

I mean, I want to strangle her.

I know, I'm going straight to hell.

From the first day she walked into the Youth Center, I cringed.

I had never met her before.  But I just knew.

Her mother annoys me and I'm sure she's to blame.

Or not. 

Can you blame a mother for how her 7yr old turns out.

She talks over us all time, she bothers the other girls around her and she thinks she know every cheer before we teach it.

I split the girls up and show them a cheer and she tries to finish it before I've finished teaching it.

Then when it's her turn to show me she can't remember how to do it at all.

I want to yell shutthefuckupandlistentowhatI'mtryingtotellyou.  But I don't.  I smile.  And sternly ask her to listen.

But I'm dying inside.

My chest is burning with all the things I want to scream at her.

How could this one child get to me so much?

Last week her mother asked if she could move to the 8-10 group because the practice times were more convienent for her.  It's not my decision I told her,  she's placed in our squad based upon her age....but I also said that she should ask.

At this point, I'm willing to forge her paperwork so that she can get the hell off of my squad.

Can you blame me?

That Will Be Enough Of That

If you follow me on Twitter (which you totally should) you will see that a co-worker of mine got sick Monday and vomited quite a few times in the trashcan before we could convince her to go home.

She was hesitant at first but after I had to swallow that extra saliva you get when you hear people dry heaving I told her it was me or her.  And honestly I would have preferred if she sent me home.

Anyway.

She thought she had ate something bad, even though she brought food from home, and she went home and rested.

Later that afternoon, me the rest of my co-workers exchanged vomit stories.  Gross, I know.

I explained to them that Lael has never been a weak stomached child and the last time I remember her vomiting she had to be 2 or so.  She had been put on some type of medication for something and the only thing I could get her to drink was orange juice.

Well what I didn't do was read the side of the bottle that said she had to take it on a full stomach.

Ahem.

Ever smelled OJ after it's done the tango with your stomach acids?

Yeah.

So seriously, this was Monday we were talking about it.

Fast forward to last night.

Me and hubby had just finished...uh...you know....and Lael comes sleepwalking in our bedroom.

She climbed on my side of the bed and rolled over and continued snoring.

I paid it no attention, sometimes she does that and I just let her be.

I went downstairs to get a snack before I headed to bed knowing that I had a 2-hr delay due to ANOTHER snow storm and was preparing to watch a little more tv.

I got back in bed and told Lael to move over.

She did but then groaned and rolled back right underneath me.

I asked her if she were thirsty and gave her a sip of my OJ.

This is where shit gets hilarious.  I say that because I can only laugh at the irony.

She starts whining about her belly hurting.  I massage it for a few minutes and ask her if she need to go poo.

She says no and rolls over and goes to sleep.

2 hrs later I wake up covered in OJ, Spanish Rice, and whatever else I fed her for dinner.

It. Was. Everywhere.

2am and I am up pulling my sheets off my bed, cleaning her, cleaning me and realzing I hadn't washed sheets yet and then realizing I should probably by a few more sets of sheets for my bed.

I end up taking her into the spare room (soon to be Bubby's) and laying out my futon.

45 minutes later a repeat of above.

It was a long night.  I hadn't thought about it until this this morning but yesterday afternoon I felt really really sick to my stomach.  But it passed.

I wonder if I brought a stomach bug from home and passed it on. 

Either way I would like it to go away.  There will be no more vomiting thankyouverymuch.

Lael was still able to get up and go to school today.  I would have kept her home buy hubby let her go.  She said that today was their 100th day of school pizza party and she wasn't going to miss it. 

I'm just afraid the pizza won't stay where it belongs.....

How I Survived The Weekend Without A Telephone

I know we are a generation of emails, texts, instant messages and all sorts.

Most of us pay our bills online.  Some of us have gone paperless and don't get paper bills sent to us at all.

While that is mostly true for me and hubby I believe it is important to at least READ what you get in the mail even if you pay your bill online.

Me and hubby have our home, cell, and internet all tied together.  While this seems frugal it can also be fatal.

Last month my hubby called me from his friends house.

For some reason our home and cell phones were off (even though we pay our bill on time, EVERY month) but our internet was still working.

After hours on the phone with a certain phone company that rhymes with Horizon, they could not figure out what the problem was and by the next morning our phones were back on.

Weird.

A few weeks after that, I lost my ability to call some long distance numbers.  Not all but some.

Weird.

I asked my hubby to call and figure out why and naturally he blew me off time after time.

Jerk.

So Friday around 1pm, hubby calls me from his friends house and say the phones are off again.

Weird.

Lael had a basketball game to cheer at and then gymnastics so by the time we were done with that is was after 8pm.

I expected he at fixed the problem and that I would be able to come home, relax, and have a good chat on the phone.

Not.

Apparently Horizon had been sending notifications in the mail saying that they were doing some type of fraud verification on all their customers and we need to fax or mail copies of our id's or something to that effect.

I also found out that they had send like 3 or 4 of these type of letters over the past month or so that he just decided NOT to read because he pays the bills online and didn't think it could be anything of importance.

To make things even better, the verificaiton department who initiated the disconnect are only open M-F 8-5pm.  Doesn't that just tickle your funny bone.

So naturally they KNEW what they were doing by turning our service off FRIDAY evening and then telling us that tech was in our neighborhood and would check our line.

It just amazes me.  1-My hubby is an idiot and I'll be sure to read all mail before he tosses it. 2-Horizon are idiots.  It would have been nice if their departments TALKED to each other and they could have told us last month the reason for our phone being turned off. 3-I'm an idiot becasue I should have called myself after hubby blew me off for the umpteenth time.

So, we got a few inches of snow this weekend.  I didn't leave the house because the roads on base were DANGEROUS.  So I was stuck in the house, with no cell, no house phone. 

Thank goodness my internet still worked and of course I had my DVR. 

It's Monday.  I still have no working phone.  But I'm sure hubby is all over that this morning.

Because if he doesn't get me a working phone soon, I will be out of service, if you catch my drift. ;)