Who Needs A List

My birthday will be 15 days. I will be 29. Holy shit.

I know most (maybe all) of you are older than me but still.

I am so not ready. Looking back I realized that that I will not complete my 30 before 30 list.

But that doesn’t mean I should give up on it completely.

I’m actually thinking of making a whole new list.

Here is my list from last year.

I now realize I don’t care about some of these things

What things should I add? Did you make a list before you turned 30?

Here’s my list from last year:

1. Visit New York-I live 3 hrs from there but have never been
2. Print out some of my favorite pictures and hang them on my bare walls
3. Get rid of baggage-emotionally and physically
4. Cook a Sunday meal from scratch-preferably beef stew.
5. Bake a cake from scratch
6. Clean out the closet under the stairs-I actually really need to do this BEFORE the baby comes
7. Have my last dog fixed-Can’t take the humping anymore!
8. Go camping with my daughter-Maybe she won’t notice if we do in in the backyard…
9. Eat a piece of fruit everyday for at least a month
10. Buy myself a new wardrobe-I’ll never fit back in my size 3 jeans and after this baby KNOW I really ain’t gonna happen
11. Travel to another country for leisure, not work
12. Finish my Bachelor’s Degree-I’m halfway done!
13. Stop cursing completely-Ok, maybe…
14. Spend a whole day happy and not let anyone or anything ruin it
15. Make Tech Sgt- I work hard and deserve the extra rank
16. Ride a horse, or a pony :o)
17. Go to Vegas and live it up!
18. Take a road trip with a good friend
19. Enter a marathon and finish it
20. Scuba Dive
21. Learn another language-Maybe French since it’s such a romantic language
22. Sing Karaoke in front of people
23. See a dolphin show and swim with them if I’m brave enough
24. Help a stranger without them finding out
25. Go to a spa and get the WORKS!
26. Start a garden and be able to eat something from it
27. Take Lael to the American Girl store in NY and let her splurge
28. Make a grocery list and actually stick to it
29. Wear a bathing suit and not care about what people are thinking
30. Taste coffee….The smell makes me sick but I heard it’s yummy

Here is what I will keep:

1. Visit New York
2. Print out some of my favorite pictures and hang them on my bare walls
3. Go camping with my daughter
4. Buy myself a new wardrobe
5. Make Tech Sgt
6. Enter a marathon and finish it
7. Help a stranger without them finding out
8. Go to a spa and get the WORKS!
9. Wear a bathing suit and not care about what people are thinking
10. Enter a marathon and finish it

That’s a pretty lame list if you ask me.

What’s also sad is that I haven’t completed ANYTHING on that list from last year. How lame is that?

My life is nothing like it was last year at this time. While I sometimes miss how easy things were a year ago, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I now have a new and improved life.

Some things I know will never happen and I’m ok with that.

List or no list. I am happy.

Emergency Plan

Every morning Lael walks to the bus stop with the neighborhood kids that go to her school. 1 set of 2nd grade twins and their older brother who goes to high school. I’m friends with their mother and the oldest looks out for the younger ones.

Lael gets dressed and I open the blinds to wait for the kids to come around the corner and then I send her out and watch them walk down the street.

This has been working perfectly for the past few weeks. But last week something terrible happened.

Lael was dragging a bit and I rushed her around like I’m sure many of you have done before. I looked out the window and did not see the kids and it was getting late.

I told Lael to go ahead maybe they had already walked by. I kissed her and off she went. Shortly after I walked to work. Hubby and the baby were home but he was headed out to his moms right after me.

I get to work and an hour later hubby calls me. Apparently he didn’t leave the house because the baby had spit up and he had to change him. Good thing that happened because guess who walked back in the house.

Lael.

An hour after she had left.

Apparently she missed the bus and had stood at the bus stop for an hour.

Alone.

Well, not totally alone. Other parents and kids were out there for other buses but still. Alone.

I was mortified.

How could I have let this happen? What if my husband had left earlier? What would Lael have done? What was I thinking?

She was hysterical. Crying that she was scared. Cold. And hungry.

I immediately left work and went home to comfort her.

But the guilt. Oh, the guilt.

I’m thankful that we live on base so it’s safer than a lot of other places. But I am also thankful that my child was smart enough to go back home. But I am ashamed that I didn’t have an emergency plan in place for her.

What would she have done if the door was locked and we weren’t home? We have now established an emergency plan.

We hope to never have her use it because we have adjusted our schedules to make sure she gets to that bus.

Friday she didn’t have school but this morning she did. I watched the kids come around the corner and watched her walk down the street with them but this time I waited to see her get on the bus.

I’m sure it won’t happen again but I can’t seem to get rid of the guilt.

Do you all have emergency plans in place for these type of situations?

Back To School

Last night was Back To School night at Lael’s school.

So you know I absolutely couldn’t wait for all that fun.

Here are some important things I want to share with you, in bullet form. Because I can.

*When I arrived there was an envelope on every chair asking for money. $400 per child to be exact.

*Kobi has started solids. I fed him before we left. Naturally he spit up sweet potatoes all over me before it even began.

*Because I was lazy I grabbed a wrinkled shirt and threw a hoodie on over it. So of course it was a billion degrees in there but I was too embarrassed to take my hoodie off. So I suffered.

*We all cheered as they introduced all the teachers. Apparently you’re NOT supposed to “woot woot” when they call your child’s teachers name.

*When we met in our child’s classroom the teacher had to speak REALLY loud because someone brought their baby who decided he wanted to test his babbling skillz. It may or may not have been Kobi.

*Asking if your child is in the remedial reading group makes the teacher uncomfortable. (That one was another parent, not me.)

*We played a game called 2 truths and 1 lie. We had to take turns and guess what each person’s lie was. They didn’t believe I was 16. Go figure.

*Somehow I am Room Parent again. I only did it so I’ll have something to complain about on my blog. You’re welcome.

*Of course when I left it was pouring rain. I didn’t have an umbrella. Just my baby. His carseat. And a looong way to walk.

In other news, I got on the scale this morning and it thinks I've dropped almost 10lbs....I wonder if it was from sweating in that hoodie....

So there you have it. Now I’m off to make find a paper cup to stand on the corner collecting change with. How long you think it’ll take me to get to $400??

I Think She'll Be Scoring....A Lot

Yesterday was the start of soccer.

I know it's kind of late in the season but that's how we roll her on the base.  They press us to have our registration papers and money in by a certain date but then take their time actually starting.

Lael missed the first practice because they needed a family to switch teams to accommodate another family and me being the awesome kind-hearted person I am, volunteered.

Lael will be 7 at the end of October.  I was curious as to whether they would put her on the 7-9 year old team or the 5-6 year old team.  

Well they decided to put her with the 5 yr olds.  While some parents may have fought the decision.  I giggled a little.  She's the biggest one out there but she fits right in.

I was amazed at how well she was doing since she hasn't played soccer since she was 4.

They started off practicing their skillz and then it was time for a scrimmage game.

They also took TONS of water breaks.  You can see she took her blue Gatorade serious.

If you look you will notice Lael isn't in this photo.  That's because she was scoring a goal.  She did that about 3 more times.  Yeah. She kinda rocked.

Funny because I had to convince her to play this year.  I'm glad I pushed her. She had a blast.

(You notice she's wearing the same clothes as the pictures from 2 years ago....yeah...she's tiny)

Matters Of Kobi's Heart

Kobi had his 4 month well baby appointment yesterday. I know I already expressed my shock about the fact that he indeed is 4 months already.

He is doing remarkably well.

If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen that my little bear has been scheduled on and off with a Pediatric Cardiologist. I had not blogged about what was going on. Not because I didn’t want to share but because I had been too tired to blog.

So let me give you a little background.

Right after he was born they let me see him and then they gave him to my hubby and they went and cleaned him off.

Once they rolled me into the post-op room I could hear them whispering and poking at him. Apparently they were concerned with his breathing. Not the lack there of but the rapid pace of it.

They couldn’t figure out why he was breathing so fast. They checked his oxygen levels and gave me instructions to watch his nostrils for flaring and to make sure his lips don’t turn blue.

Yeah. Scary.

They didn’t think it was anything to worry about but of course I didn’t sleep at all because I was on nostril watching duty.

He never showed any signs of struggling to breath he just seemed to breath fast…and loud.

Very loud.

Almost like he was congested. Funny because Lael had the same problem and she was diagnosed with Tracheomalacia (underdeveloped cartilage in her tracheas) when she was a baby.

I didn’t say anything because they were convinced it would go away.

But it didn’t.

When I took him in for his 2 and 6 week checkups they started to get concerned.

I took him in for his 2 month checkup and they decided that his breathing hadn’t gotten any better and they wanted him to see a Cardiologist. That day.

They did an Echo and EKG on his heart and the results showed that he has an extra vessel that leads to somewhere. They aren’t sure where. Also, his left ventricle is on a scale of 1 to 10 ten 1 being the smallest and 10 being the largest, he’s a 10. That means if it got any bigger it would larger than normal. Does that make sense? So it’s big but not quite bigger than normal…yet.

Of course this drove me into a fit of what if’s. But I remained calm.

From then we went back and forth between his Pediatrician and the Cardiologist. We also had an appointment with the ENT doctor who diagnosed my baby with Laryngomalacia (in which the soft, immature cartilage of the upper larynx collapses inward).

Almost the same thing Lael had. However, it didn’t explain why he was breathing fast, just why he was breathing loud.

Blah, Blah, fast forward to a few more appointments.

The conclusion: He still breaths loud (he’ll grow out of it just like Lael did). They still don’t know why he breaths fast or if it’s related to his heart at all. They aren’t sure where the extra vessel is going but they would have to do a CAT Scan and they don’t want to put him through that. I agree.

So now we just wait.

He is super healthy otherwise and that is the main reason they are not concerned. He is growing and is right on target developmentally.

He is 15.4 lbs and 25 inches. He’s not quite as big as the 4 month old girl we saw yesterday that was 21 pounds but he is just fine.

Because I'm Not Already Stressed

Lael will be 7 next month. I'm not even sure how that's possible. I mean seriously, she was JUST born. Ok, maybe not just born, but 7?

She is now in the 2nd grade and with that comes the beginning of her social life. Before it was a few arranged playdates here and there but other than that she just played with her sister.

That has all now begun to change.

Since the end of the last school year she has been talking about a friend of hers that lives here on the base. She wanted a sleepover, a playdate, something.

I blew her off most (meaning ALL) of the summer because I didn't know the girl or her parents. Having a new baby to tend to made it easy for me to put off.

After a few weeks Lael stopped mentioning her and I figured I was in the clear.

Then they saw each other at the pool. And again at the park. And again at the library.

And then school started and they now ride the bus next to each other everyday. So naturally the begging for playdates and sleepover resumed. But also Lael started asking to call her.

I thought I would get away with the whole "I don't know her mommy or her phone number" bit, but no. She whipped out her notebook and there the girls was. Written in the neatest 6yr old writing. I sighed and said we would call her the next week. And I repeated that for a few weeks.

Now you may be asking yourself, what's the problem? Why don't you just let her call the girl.

Well what I didn't tell you is that this little girl isn't just any little girl. She's the daughter of the base commander. The commander of the ENTIRE base that I live on. That's like the president of a company you work for.

Well yesterday she bugged the hell out of me about calling this girl. And you know what? I gave in. I dialed the number (praying her father wouldn't answer) and her mother answered. The mother remembered me and was really sweet and apparently the little girl had been bugging her as well.

I told her that her daughter could call anytime before 8:30 and she said the same went for Lael. I handed her the phone and she giggled so hard that she began to cry. You see, she's never been allowed to talk to friends on the phone before. So this is a new chapter in itself. Of course I had to force her off the phone 30 minutes later but she smiled the rest if the night.

They have a date to call each other again tonight. My little girl is growing up. I am growing with her, because it took her pushing to make me realize it's about the kids not us parents.

I just hope they don't start fighting because confronting the commanders wife about her daughter, well that could become a bit awkward.

4 Months

Dear Kobi,

How has it already been 4 months? How is it that I love you more than I ever thought possible?

I was afraid before. Afraid of becoming a new mom again. Afraid that I wouldn’t have enough love for you and your sister. Afraid of having a boy.

It was silly of me to be afraid. Once they put you in my arms all the fear disappeared.

You have brought a new meaning to our family. You have taught me that it is possible for your heart to grow bigger. You have taught your father what it’s really like to raise a baby. You have taught your sister’s the ULTIMATE responsibility.

You were born on May 14th at 9:54am.

Right off you opened your eyes and took me in. Took the world in. Everyone commented how “alert” you were. I knew you would be. I had a feeling.

You are so like your sister in so many ways but also very different.

You are barely 4 months and there is so much you can do. So many ways your personality is starting to show.

You can laugh.

You can smile.

You can hold your head up.

You can grab at and hold your toys.

You can chew on anything you can hold.

You have recently discovered your fingers and sometimes get carried away and choke on them.

You love to stand up on my legs. You are very strong.

You can turn your head from side to side.

You have recently learned that you can squeal so that’s lots of fun.

You love taking a bath but only in really warm water.

You have learned how to pull yourself across the floor by using this worm like motion. That’s super cute.

You also know how to scoot yourself out of your car seat if I don’t have you buckled in. Sorry about not knowing that. Hope you didn’t bump your head to hard.

You arch your back when you see me because you know that I’m going to pick you up.

You love to fall asleep in the crook of my neck. I kind of dig it too.

You like to be scared. When I hide and jump out you go into a fit of giggles.

Everyone says you are big for your age. You are wearing 6-9 month clothes and almost 15lbs. I love every single roll you have.

You are still breastfeeding. It’s out quiet time with each other. You recently started looking up and me when you nurse and occasionally stop just to smile at me and then continue. It melts my heart every time.

I recently started breaking you into your crib. I also recently gave up.

I’ll try again later. Life is too short not to enjoy the time I have to cuddle with you.

Soon you’ll be too big and won’t want to sleep with mom.

But for now I’ll enjoy your company.

These past 4 months have gone by in a flash. I am excited to see what the next 4 will bring.

But not too fast ok? Take your time. There is no rush.