Friday, November 14, 2008

Holiday Blues

Every year for the past 5 years I have been putting myself under stress.

I have not figured out exactly when to start Christmas shopping and it seems like I can't seem to get it right.

I think I have more than enough time but look there are only like 40 days left!

In addition to that, I have a dysfunctional family. I'm sure everybody things their family is wacky but I promise my family takes the cake.

Because of the funkiness, I usually have to split myself up between my mom's house and my in-laws house.

Some years I have wanted to break down and cry. It seems like I can't get them under one roof for any holiday except for Lael's birthday and even then things are tense.

My dear mother-in-law has always tried to make things easier on me and has decided that she will have Thanksgiving at her house and has even invited a few of my military families over who aren't near their extended family. She decided that she would not do Christmas so that I could spend it with my parents instead of driving up and down the road.

This seems like a good idea but I am stressed wondering how my mother would react to a Thanksgiving without me even if that means having me for Christmas.

I feel like a kid going through some wacky custody battle. There is so much to deal with during the holidays and I am a HUGE fan of Christmas. It is my favorite besides my daughter's birthday of course.

Why can't things be like it is in the movies? Why can't we be just one big happy family? Why is it that I seem to be the only one that is forgiving and can move on? Is it that impossible to get along with each other for a few hours once a year?

Apparently so. What to do, what to do? I guess as the time gets closer I will decide what I'm going to do.

What's scary is I'm always afraid that my decision will hurt someones feeling. But what about mine?


  1. Once you feel okay with the fact that you will NEVER be able to please everyone at the same time, it gets much better. The holidays always catch me off guard, although every year I VOW that I'm going to do everything right AND on time. Never happens. It's very gracious that your MIL is trying to ease the burden for you, and very kind that she's invited others, also. Although your Mom will surely miss you for Thanksgiving, I think all parents come to a realization point that their children are adults, and once married, now have TWO families. That's just how it is. Now that I'm divorced and remarried, and my biological family is scattered all over, Hubby and I just try to make the best of it at home with the kids. And that's exactly where we'll be this holiday. Family can be so flakey, and rather than get together just because it's the holidays, we're gonna pass this year. A few hurt feelings? You betcha. But we have to do what feels right for us.
    Hope everything works out okay. :-)

  2. My in-laws live on the other side of the world in a different country and don't even celebrate these holidays. So I don't know what to tell you.

    Then why did I comment?

    I don't know.

    Maybe you can just celebrate the holidays at your house and let people come visit YOU.

  3. K-
    I completely understand your dilema. Hey, at least we will be together during thanksgiving and that is so AWESOME. Remember your family comes first and we will never please everyone. YOu know that more than anyone. take care of you Honey. I gotta ear to listen, its yours whenever!!! Thanks for sitting you are the BESTEST BFF as Courtney would say. Later chica

  4. Keyona,
    Thanks for stopping by my blog! Your daughter is beautiful!!

    Adding my 2 cents...Maybe it's time to create your own traditions that will work for your immediate family. If it's Thanksgiving at your m-i-l's house and Christmas at your mom's that works best, then let it be that. With my side of the family (about 1.5 hours away), we have an early "Christmas," complete with a (modified) Christmas dinner and exchanging presents. My husband didn't see the logic in this at all...until he realized that it meant we could spend Christmas with his family (about 1.5 hours away in the opposite direction). :) I do hope everything goes well for you and your family this holiday season!

    Oh--something that my mom used to say, when I was concerned about my firstborn about various family-related things: "If you're OK with it, he'll be OK with it...SO BE OK WITH IT." :)


Those laughing with me...or at me.