Thursday, October 22, 2009

Who Will Care For My Child?

When I was younger I always pictured my life like a fairytale.

Beautiful house, white fence, pretty little dog, gorgeous husband and 4 beautiful children. 

I would get up and make breakfast, kiss the hubby and see him off to work.  I would clean house, arrange playdates and spend my free time with my children.

Totally not what I got.

When I got pregnant with Lael I thought I was going to get out of the military.  I did not.

It was a hard decision but I was able to care for her by staying in.

What I didn't expect was how hard it would be for me to take my teeny, tiny, 8 week old child to a DAYCARE!!

It was horrible.  I've never forgotten that feeling. I've carried it around with me for 6 years.  I was there for a lot but I missed a lot.  Things that strangers got to see my girl do for the first time.

How unfair is that?

I have now been in the military for 10 years.  No way I'm quitting now.  I'm halfway to retirement and half way to my degree.  Why quit?

But guess what?  I'm having another baby.  I think it's killing me more this time around that I won't be able to stay at home with my baby like so many women get to do.

I get it.  Being a SAHM isn't the coolest thing since sliced bread, but to me it would be.  I done the working mom thing and for the most part is sucks!

Not being able to attend all of Lael's school functions or field trips.  Sure I can send Dad, but it's not the same. And that little girl reminds me of that.

Hubby has been getting a lot of interviews lately but I'm going to tell you a secret.

I no longer want him to get a job.

Why you may ask? Why would you NOT want more money?

I'll tell you why.

Because if hubby continues to say home our baby will be home with him.  Safe. Secure. Loved.

No, it's not the same as me being there, but I'll take second best.

Would you?


  1. I hear you. If not me staying home with the kiddos, I'd rather my husband be the one, too.

  2. Ah Keyona I have! I'm working right now and my husband stays home with my baby during the day. I've arranged to work 7-3PM, then I come home and watch the baby while Dan is at school. It's hard. There are some days when we both feel overwhelmed, but when we think of the alternative we are both in agreement that no one can love our baby like we do. It would be nice if your husband could hold off getting a job for at least the first 6 months...or find a night job? Think of the money you will save in daycare too.

    I hope all works out with your plans. I understand wanting to stay home with your baby. I had a hard time going back to work at 6 weeks even knowing he was home with Dan!

  3. Hugs. That is a tough one. Just from this blog, I can tell you are totally into your little girl and will be with the new baby. That is what is important. Sure, if you could spend more time with Lael you would and she knows that - here in lies the important part, you are an awesome mom whether you work away from home or are a SAHM.

  4. Daycare is HARD.

    I often times think of wanting to be the one that stays home. Then I take a weeks vacation (at home) and realize that I am not cut out to do that.

    I do not have the patience, nor the mindset to stay home all day. The people that do? Impress the shit out of me.

    Although it's hard, it will all work out just fine!

  5. The Peanut has two friends that have SAHD and other than the breast feeding they have everything they could possibly want or need with their Dads.

    Staying Home or going to work either one has rewards and drawbacks and neither is better than the other. Ultimately you do what works best for your family and for you.

  6. I totally get it! I just went throught it. I have to say, it is easier with the second. Just find a place you feel good about, it makes all the differnce. Your kids know you love them, even if you work

  7. I am really struggling with this lately too...I really want to me a SAHM...but it's just not in the cards for me. I have to come to grips with it.

  8. Awww.... very sweet :-)

    I love that you love your husband and children enough to know that having him home is a blessing for all of you. I wish you could stay home too!! Doesn't the family leave act give you 10 weeks? I would take them all.

  9. First congrats :) you are going to have a great kid. As for your husband not getting a job... well it is also upto how he feels about it but there cannot be a better choice then your husband to look after your kid.

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  10. Well, we both know a lot of friends (our friends = adults) who grew up with two working parents and they are fine. More than fine, in fact.

    That being said, if there is a choice and both partners feel the same way, then I'd want to daddy to stay home too.

    I think whatever you decide, both of your kids will grow up safe, secure and, most importantly, loved.


Those laughing with me...or at me.