Not What I Had In Mind...But OK

Sometimes I jump to conclusions a little too quickly.

Remember last week I wrote about Lael finding a "friend" on the first day of school?

Yup. That lasted about 2 days.

Last Wednesday, I spoke to her about the new girl. For blog purposes we'll call her Suzy.

Lael said that she wasn't sitting with Suzy on the bus anymore because Suzy was sitting with another girl.

She was ok with it though and so I left it alone.

But Thursday she came home and said that Suzy and the other girl were bothering her. She said that they would pull on her book bag and put shit in her hair. Ok, she didn't say shit but that's my interpretation.

Now let me stop right here.

If yall don't know, I am not the "let's go talk to Suzie's parents to stop this" type of parent. I am more of a "If she touches your book bag again or even thinks of fuckin' with your hair that I spend an hour braiding I'll be waiting at her bus stop" type of parent.

That being said, I decided to let Lael handle it. She is almost 6. And she is in the 1st grade. So I figured she needs to start learning how to fight her own battles.

What I did was give her a few, uh, pointers. I asked her what she would do if it were D bothering her. I told her ask them to stop nicely. I told her she could tell the bus driver. I even told her to let them know at school. I told her she had to decide the best method to handle this situation.

Big mistake.

I sometimes forget who's child she is. It apparently slipped my mind that she don't play.

I gave her exactly what she wanted. A.Free.Pass.

On Friday, I forgot to ask her what had happened that day because Grandma had picked her up and she slept over.

Saturday it slipped my mind as well. This evening as we were picking up a few groceries it popped in my head.

"Lael, what happened with Suzy on the bus Friday."

"Oh, I just got on the bus and pulled her hair."

"Lael! Why did you do that? She didn't hit your or hurt you!"

"Well, she wouldn't stop."

"Well how hard did you pull it? Show me"

(She practically rips a handful of hair from my scalp)

"Owww! Did you pull he hair that hard?!"

"Yeah"

"Did she tell on you? What did she do? What did she say?"

"She said that she wasn't being mean to me the other days...But I think she will leave me alone now."

Yes Lael, I'm sure she will leave you alone now.

Oh. My. God.

What have I created?!

It's gonna be a LONG year.

Apparently I'm A Bitch

I am finally at a stage in my life where I am just figuring out who I am.

I have decided that I don't really like many people. Don't get me wrong. I like people, just not many.

Actually very few people.

Being in the military I am exposed to so many different people in a short amount of time.

The office that I work at I've been in for 2 years. In those 2 years I am the only one left. I've been there through 2 different bosses, 6 peers, 2 supervisors, and countless other co-workers that have rotated out.

Because of this constant rotation there are always new people coming in and new people being introduced.

I am not that interested. I don't care for introduction or who they are.

While everyone around me jumps up to shake hands, smile, and tell their life stories, I don't.

I just want to be left alone to do my work and go home.

Don't get me wrong. I eventually get around to meeting the people and usually end up liking them.

It's the getting there part that's tricky.

I didn't really come to terms with this until Friday.

In the past I've had many friends that said when they first met me they thought I was snotty, stuck up, or a bitch.

Most have admitted that they were wrong. Some may still believe it to be trust. Whatever.

While talking with one of my co-workers Friday, we were talking about first impressions and I told her that I liked her from the beginning.

She jumped onto the honesty bandwagon and revealed that when she first met me she that I was uppity.

Nice.

I decided to walk around with my other co-workers and get their opinions. They ALL said the same thing.

They claim to all love me now but I scared them away in the beginning.

I think I have come up with the reason behind it.

I don't have very many friends. Don't get me wrong, I've gone through lots of them, but very few that have stuck.

Because of this I am very cautious of people now. I used to be very bubbly when I first met people. Tell them my business, give them my trust and open up to them.

After being hurt and disappointed so many times I now have a guard up.

Long story short. I'm a bitch. At least when you first meet me.

Now go away. I'm busy. :o)

Car Seat

Going through my pictures of Lael I came across a theme.

I take a lot of pictures of her in her car seat.

It's funny because I can see how much she's grown through the years.

The only problem is, I should be driving instead of snapping photos.

Hmmm...I better work on that.

Either way. It makes it hard to breath when I look and see how fast time is flying by.

Parenting Assessment

There was a major parent FAIL yesterday.

Long story short. Monday was the first day of school. Yesterday was my jobs annual Family Day Picnic.

I decided to take Lael out of school early to attend. You know, so she could eat, throw water balloons, slide down the water slide, and bounce away in the moon bounce.

Kind of like the last taste of summer before the Fall says hello.

When I picked her up her teacher explained that she would be missing a math assessment that afternoon, but not to fret because she could take it home with her.

Her only directions were, give her all the time she needs but YOU. CAN'T. HELP. HER.

No problem. So I thought.

She was give a worksheet that had 50 blocks random numbers were filled in and the other were blank. Her job was to fill in the blank.

Easy! She can count past 100 so this should only take a bit right? Right?

No.

Words can not begin to explain the level of pain and suffering we both went through during this assessment.

First, Lael still writes some of her numbers backwards. See that?

Second, she has warped into some type of perfectionist. Most of the numbers were probably erased and re-written 6-7 times each because they had to be perfect. Just right. Same size and ya know. P-E-R-F-E-C-T.

Third, she did not grasp the concept of MOMMY CAN'T HELP YOU. She needs that encouragement that she is doing it right. All I could tell her was if she thought it was right move on, if she couldn't figure it out skip it and then go back.

OMFG, there were some major meltdowns. Oh, and she freaked out too.

It was not fun. Not at all. 1 1/2 later she finally finished both pages. It was painful. I actually excused myself from the room at one point to explain to my husband that he will now have to take over homework duty.

Apparently I don't have as much patience as I thought.

So what did I learn from all this you ask? Next time I'm leaving her ass at school. Also, teacher don't get paid enough.

(Check out her bang her head....)

This Is Your Notice

Dearest Lael,

Let me begin by telling you that mommy loves you.

Now that that's out the way let me explain how this is going to work.

You will go to bed on time from now on.

You will not have drinks 1hr before bed which will give you excuses to get out of bed.

There will be no tv watching while in your bed on a school night.

When I wake you up in the morning you will not swat at me.

I will not tell you to take a shower and then realize you are not in there but instead HIDING from me in the closet.

I will not carry you around. Unless you are bleeding from the eyes.

I will not pick you UP out of the shower and dry YOU off and put your clothes on FOR you. You are quite capable.

What will happen is:

You will get up, shower, get dressed, brush your teeth and sit your happy ass down until daddy takes you to the bus stop.

There must have been some confusion this morning and I am ok with that.

But consider this your notice.

You have been warned....................

With love and the power to punish,

Mommy

God Sent The New Kid Just For Her

We've all had the same stories to on our blogs. The kids are going back to school.

Lael started 1st grade yesterday. I was probably more excited than she was. Ok, I know, I was more excited than she was. So what.

She picked out her cute outfit. You know because she told me she had to be the "hottest girl in her class". Check.

We left the house more than an hour early. If you live in the DC area there is no need to explain why.

We got there about 15 minutes early so we sat in the car and talked about my expectation and hers. Mine: Listen, behave, learn. Hers: Meet friend, play with friends, have friend adore her. Check.

We had time for a few photos.




Once we got to the school I we looked up her class. Of course she has the teacher with the name none of the kids can pronounce. Apparently the ones with the hard names teach the best. Check.

I wanted to take more pictures but she told me I could only take 1. That's it. 1 picture. I had to make sure it was a good one. Check.

Things changed dramatically when we actually walked into the school. The girl you see in the pictures above disappeared.

She clammed up and grabbed my arm. I had never seen her so nervous before. I managed to get her through the breakfast line.

There were herds of kids and parents in every inch of space. I saw one of her friends from the year before but she insisted on sitting at an empty table just me and her.

I knew it would be a long morning. Shortly after sitting with her french toast and pears, one of the administrators brought over a new 1st grader. Apparently she lived on the base where we do and thought that her and Lael could be pals.

Hmph. She picked the wrong time. Lael pretended the girl wasn't there. I tried to encourage conversation but she would turn to me and give me that "what the hell are you doing to me" type of eyes.

After filling out paperwork and walking her to her class I waved goodbye but she wanted one more kiss. I obliged, and when I went to hug her she grabbed me by the arm and through clenched teeth said "So you are gonna just leave me here?"

*Sigh* What happened to my happy go lucky child?

7 hrs later this is the scene at the bus stop.

Something must have gone right. She didn't really give me much information but explained that things were great.

While tucking her in bed we had this conversation.

Me: So what happened to the girl you met today? Did she ride the bus home with you?

Her: Yeah, I let her sit next to me. She was wanted to.

Me: Oh really? Did you guys talk?

Her: Yeah, she told me about her 4 dogs and her baby sister.

Me: Oh, and what did you say?

Her: I told her about my family too. Then we got quiet and I said I was hot and wished we had some of that cold stuff (a/c). I told her I was tired and wished to bus had beds with our name on it, just for me and her. She laughted. She said she's going to sit next to me everyday.

Me: Well that's great...

Her: Mommy, I can't believe I'm not in Kindergarten anymore, I'm in 1st grade.

Me: I know baby!

Her: But sometimes I'm shy. I can't stop it.

Me: It's ok to be shy. Just remember that when you are ready to talk your friends will be waiting for you.

The Beauty of Love

I've never attended a wedding I was not a part of.

I have been a bridesmaid 3 times but never just a guest.

It's amazing how I saw this ceremony with a different eye.

It was beautiful.

Not just the dresses and the decorations, but the actual feeling.

This wedding took place outdoors. It was a hot but beautiful day.

There was a fountain which provided us with the right amount of spritz when the wind blew.

While the ceremony started an hour late. The wait was worth every minute.

I was able to see a friend of 10yrs unite as one with the love of her life.

I was able to watch some of my beautiful friends walk before her down the aisle.

I feel like I got to witness something I don't see to often.

True love.

You could see it in the way they looked at each other.

The way he wouldn't let her hand go.

The way she couldn't stop smiling.

The way her smile made everyone around her smile.

I love you Donna and wouldn't have missed being there for the world.

I wish you and your husband forever happiness....

At This Rate I’ll Have To Adopt, Or Borrow Your Husband

I’ve officially become impatient.

I had my IUD removed 24 June.

My doctor suggested waiting 2 cycles before we begin trying.

He wanted to wait 3.

I did. It’s over. I’m ready. Let’s get it on.

No, he says?

I wanted to wait 6 months?

He had never said that before. Why wait I ask?

Grumble, grumble, something about getting the drugs out of my system.

I had an IUD in my uterus, I was not snorting cocaine I say.

I explain that it could take a few months and we need to start now to have a summer baby.

He insisted that he’s a one shot type of guy. The first try will make me pregnant.

He’s naïve like that. But I let him believe.

I explain that I am most fertile Sunday and Monday and he needs to pull his shit together by then or I’m getting back on birth control.

He agrees to Sunday. Sunday we will start. I have won him over.

The next night he wants me to got the store for him.

Hell no, I’m tired I explain.

If you want to start trying for a baby, you’ll go, he says.

It’s going to be a long few months………….

Because All I Do Is Worry

I remember telling you guys about my decision to keep Lael in the school I transferred her to in April. I even remember expressing her teachers concerns for her maturity level.

I worry.

I made it a point to try to work with her this summer. Keep her involved with other kids when her sister wasn’t around.

I worry.

I worked on teaching her how to deal with her problems in a mature type of way. The whining and tantrums just wouldn’t cut it anymore.

I worry.

I let her swim, play, watch tv most of the summer but the reverted to getting her back into the swing of math, spelling and reading. She seems to be doing great but still….

I worry.

She will still be 5 when most of the other kids will have just turned 6. Will she feel the difference?

I worry.

School will start in 4 days. I think I am more nervous that I was when she started Pre-K. 1st grade is a big deal. Right?

I worry.

Oh dear god, I worry. I pray. I hope. I love. I cry. I decide. I have faith.

I think I made the right decision. I think she is ready. There is nothing I can do right now but hold my breath and let her go.

But still……

I worry.

Cheaper To Pull 'Em

3 cavities.

I'm so serious. 3.

What the hell people?

Just call me Mother of the Year.

They say she got her 6 year old molars 2 years early and it's hard for her to clean them waaaaaay back there.

What I heard was, you are a bad mother who didn't take the time to help your poor little girl clean her teeth properly.

Jerks.

In addition to that, have I ever told you that Lael grinds her teeth. It's bad. Bad enough that in addition to paying for those three fillings (thank god not on her permanent teeth) but I will also have to pay for a mouth guard.




I do, however, lurve, her dentist. She is full of awesome awesomness. And she's pretty. Pretty frickin' awesome.
I guess I can't complain too much because the military covers most of the expenses. They will pay 80% of the fillings and hopefully 50% for the mouth guard.
Whoop whoop Air Force. Thanks a bunch.


Also, I swear that she was wearing shoes when I brought her in. I swear you'd think she grew up in the country.
Speaking of country. Check out this tree man we saw while in Philly on our way to Sesame Place this past weekend.
Creepy huh? You know in a "I wonder who did that it's so neat I want to take a picture for my blog" type of way.


That's all for now. I have to figure out what I can sell on Ebay to cover these dental expenses.
Oh, and just for the record. D is getting braces in a few weeks....
Seriously, I fully support pulling them. They will grow back...right?

Too Many Questions, Too Little Attention Span

Scene~ Last week riding in the car with the girls.


Lael: Mommy who is daddy's wife?

Me: (raising my hand) You know it's me honey.

Lael: Well how come D has a different mommy but me and her have the same daddy?

Me: ........uh.....what do you think?

Lael: Well....I think daddy has a girlfriend who is D's mom and he has you as his wife.

Me: Well do you think that daddy would be married to me and have a girlfriend?

Lael: .......no.....well, it just doesn't make sense!

Me: Silence.........................................................................................................................................
Lael: Hey mom! I have a cut on my finger.

Dear Godly Gods,
I don't know why but Thank You for that distraction. I was not in any way, shape, or form, ready for THAT conversation.

I do, however, feel that I should have an answer prepared. I think it will be coming up again.
Hopefully later that sooner.

Not Me! Monday

I did not wish I had let the girls stay gone another week so I could have another peaceful week.

I did not find out I got a job I’ve been praying on.

I did not get a bit excited when my friends pumped me up to think I was pregnant. I am not. Yet.

I did not get the best pedicure I’ve evah had in my life. :o)

I did not go running almost every day last week and feel great!

Because of me running I did not lose a few pounds but gain it back when Aunt Flo’ came to visit. :o(

I did not take the girls to Sesame Place and almost pass out when I saw the number of people there.

I did not run around said water park like I myself were 5 and have the best time with the kids.



I did not did not cry a little when I realized my 2 week vacation was coming to an end today.

Happy Monday yall!

Tuggin' At My Uterus

Meet my Godson Brendyn.

I haven't seen him in a year.

Isn't he the cutest little thang?

Oh yeah, here's his mom. Almost forgot about her. You know, with all his cuteness distracting me.

***************

We're off to Sesame Place in the morning. Oh the stories I'm sure I'll share when I return.

Later Gaters!