Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Fatherhood

I know I've been AWOL for a while but there really has been a lot going on.

Last week when my friend came to visit from Florida but it wasn't a "let's have fun and giggle" type of visit but more of a "my ex husband lost his damn mind and all I got was a day in court" type of visit.

I took off to go to court with her last Wednesday. I knew she had court all along but thought is was her ex taking her to court for the 4th Year In A Row, to get his child support lowered.

I didn't find out until we were in the car on the way to court the REAL reason he dragged her all the way up here to DC.

Ok. I need you to sit down for this one.

He decided that he didn't want to pay child support anymore. But not in the traditional "I'm going to be a deadbeat dad and just not pay" kind of way.

No, no. This fucker got creative. He decided that he would request to have his name REMOVED from his CHILDS birth certificate so that he would no longer have rights to her nor have to pay to help SUPPORT his child.

I can't even explain how sick this made me feel for a number of reasons. One of the main reasons is the memories that flooded back to me.

Finding out that my stepfather wanted to adopt me when I was 14. I hadn't seen my biological father in YEARS but never thought that he would sign his rights over to another man. Oh, he did. Quickly. I think he over nighted the papers. Bastard.

But this case was different. While my friend has recently re-married and has another baby on the way, there was no REQUEST for him to give up his rights. He asked for it!

What makes things worse was when we were in the courthouse waiting area he had the NERVE to ask where she was and demand to see her. I mean immediately after walking out of the judges chambers.

How do you do that. In one breath ask to be erased from a child's life and in the next ask to see her.

I am baffled. I am also grateful. Grateful to my father. Grateful to my husband who has been the best father to both of his girls and who will be a great father to our soon-to-be new baby.

Oh yeah, I did tell yall I was pregnant right? Couldn't end this post on a sour note. :o)




15 comments:

  1. Oh, Keyona -- CONGRATS!!! So happy to hear your news. :D

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  2. woo hoo!!!! (this is on the pregnancy part)

    I hate court. I hate going to another state for court. I feel for your friend.

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  3. I KNEW IT! Congratulations!

    And, sheesh, about the dad. Or non-dad as it may be. Makes me really sad.

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  4. I'm so glad you ended with that great news!!!

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  5. Ugh, that dad makes my stomach churn.

    But yay!!! On the pregnancy!! I am very excited for you!!!

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  6. YAY - congrats!!! Your friend's ex is total scum.

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  7. This makes me absolutly ill! How could he be such an ASS!

    I am so excited for you! I can not wait to take this journey with you!

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  8. Wow... unbelievable what a person will do to save a buck...
    Congratulations on the good news! Very exciting

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  9. Your friend is very lucky to have you on her side. Pregnant and all(WHOOT!!!)

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  10. Congratulations from me too.

    On the note of your friend and her dead beat ex husband, I hope that she flat out refused and slapped him with his own reasons as to why he was being denied.

    If you want to be a part of a childs life you stand up and support that child, if you sign away the rights to your child you sign away the rights you have to be a part of that child's life it is that simple.

    My sister went through something similar and it makes my blood boil

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  11. CONGRATULATIONS!! I've been waiting for this announcement. There must be something in the...well...air, I guess. Half of the bloggers I follow are with child. Should be an exciting year. Details, please!

    So glad your girls (and the wee one) have the kind of daddy that they do. It makes all the difference.

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  12. Yippee!! Congrats on the preg-nacious state you're in. That's a sweet, sweet thing.

    Wants to sign away his rights to get out of paying?! What a waste of skin. Guess this will be the new go-to plan for deadbeat dads ...

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  13. You are sooo blessed!!! Congratulations!! Baby in the waaayy!!! :)

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  14. First congrats on the new baby :) as for your friends Ex he is a complete ***.



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