Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Fears

I know I've talked about how different this pregnancy is from Lael's.  Being older.  Being experienced. Having my friends and family excited for me.  It is nice.

But it all seem so surreal to me.  Is my belly really growing before my eyes?  Is there really a baby inside of me?

I don't know if it's ok to get really excited.  I freaked out last week when I noticed a light pink spotting.  Thanks to all my virtual friends for giving me kind words and supporting me durning my panic.

It all went away.  No cramps or any other problems but is everything ok?

I have my first appointment tomorrow.  Will they be able to get a heartbeat?  Can you even hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks?

I haven't got my flu shot.  I'm afraid.  I'm afraid that it will kill my baby.  Did I tell you all that I am RH Negative?  Do you know what that is?  Basically my body recognizes the baby as a threat and tries to fight it off.  Yeah.  I'm not even kidding.

I walk in the stores and refuse to look at the baby clothes.  I'm think I'm afraid to get too excited.  I'm afraid to grab a pack of onsies because I don't know what I would do if I never got to use them.

I don't remember being this afraid with Lael.  What is wrong with me?

Maybe my appointment will give me the relief and security that I need. 

It's going to be a long 8 months.  I hope you guys are with me for the ride.

24 comments:

  1. Looking back on my first (and only) pregnancy, knowing all that I know now. I must admit, I was glad I was naive.

    I hope the doctor tomorrow will be able to calm some of your fears!

    Good luck girl!

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  2. Hugs. I think all your fear as are normal, but certainly no fun. I hope seeing the doc will help put some of them to rest.

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  3. I am thinking of you. I've been there...I felt just like you do through all 4 of my pregnancies. We're here for you!! Hang in there.

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  4. I worried thru each of my pregnancies, too. Every little twinge or cramp, I worried.
    You will be fine :) Hearing the heart beat and getting some time with your dr will be just the medicine you need!

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  5. I felt that way with my last pregnancy. i was almost 35, and it had been TEN years since my last pregnancy. I wasn't in the best shape, and developed severe anemia, which required two blood transfusions. I understand not wanting to get too excited in the very beginning. I'm sure going to your first doctor visit will be very reassuring. And then try to enjoy it! It's all about You, girl, for the next 8 months lol.

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  6. I am definitely here for you girl... please let us know how the appointment goes!! I understand all of your fears, but I do believe everything will be A OK!!

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  7. OH GIRL! STOP WORRYING! They won't be able to find the heartbeat at 8 weeks unless you have an ultrasound. Maybe you should ask/suggest one and use the excuse that you had some spotting. It would really give you peace of mind to see the little heartbeat!

    I do know what RH is - but don't have it. From what I understand it's a lot easier to cope with now then it was in the past...a weekly shot or something?

    I'm really excited for you! This is my 2nd pregnancy too and I'm also 28. Weird how many little things we have in common...

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  8. I think we are all excited, happy, scared with you! And I think everyone will be here for the ride! :)

    Just relax and wait for your appointment! Let us know how it went! *Hugs*

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  9. I hear you. I worried every step of the way with both my pregnancies, especially during the first trimester. It's okay to worry a bit, just don't go comepletely bonkers. I read so much stuff I nearly went blind.

    Congrats again. So many babies around me that I'm getting the itch. Hang in there, you've got the fam, friends, plus a cyber squad behind you.

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  10. And I will be here with you the entire 8 months, girl!

    They will be able to see a lot at 8 weeks. At 9 weeks they told me I was pregnant with the twins:)

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

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  11. I heard all of my babies heartbeats at the 8 week appointment. It really helps calm you.

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  12. I felt that way with my second pregnancy too. When you can't feel anything yet it's hard to believe it's real. But how exciting when you hear the heartbeat for yourself. Good luck!

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  13. What's "wrong" is that u r human. I hear there is no cure for that however

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  14. I heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks and it was the most soothing, calming sound I have ever heard.

    You are SO going to be okay. Relax, take a hot bath, and remember you've done this before. I'd suggest a glass of wine, but...

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  15. I think I would be more afraid now too. You are a mother now. You know who is inside of you. Your ingrained mama bear instincts are kicking in to protect your child.

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  16. That's perfectly normal to be having these fears. :)

    Hope you get some good assurances from your doctor tomorrow. Take care.

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  17. Be sure to check in with us as soon as you can! Thinking of you!

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  18. I wonder if you can get pregnant from reading blogs. I think all of blogland is pregnant! :)

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  19. Only the best of things will happen to you because you are one of the best out here. My prayer goes with you.


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  20. I was like that with my second pregnancy as well. I think by then I just knew TOO MUCH. I was also terrified of labor and delivery because all the sordid secrets were finally out in the open. There is a lot of stuff no one tells you when you are pregnant with your first.

    BUT...don't worry!!! Everything will be fine.

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  21. Oh you poor thing. You sound like me but I have never been pregnant. I'm scared to death that I won't be able to get pregnant, we haven't even started trying but I just have this fear that it won't happen! So I too can't look at anything baby because I'm afraid I'll jinx myself!

    I hope you feel assured after your appointment! I heard keeping your thoughts good can really help! So go buy those onsies!

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  22. I'm Rh negative too. Just get those RhoGam shots and everything will be fine. :-)

    How did it go????

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  23. Good Luck, everything will be ok!

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  24. I am a terrible pregnant person. And each time I become more crazy and neurotic. It seems like it should be the other way around, but the more you know, the scarier it seems. Best of luck!!

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