Giveaway, Award and Powder Puff

Sometimes I read blogs but miss things because I over read. Apparently Diamond had given me award earlier in December and I completely missed it.

I'm so not popular and there are thousands of blogs better than mine, so there is no way I would want to miss out on some award goodness. She digs my blog and threw this my way.

Thanks girl! That was very sweet of you and thanks for continuing to read my blog when I didn't even recognize the award! Still don't know how I missed it!

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Flssgrl is having a giveaway on her blog. She entered herself in a giveaway where the blogger will giveaway a handmade surprise to the first 3 to comment as long as they post about it and "Pay it Forward" . They have 365 days to get the prizes out to those people and so forth.

I thought it was a cool idea. I think I was the first commenter on her blog so I'm hoping to get my prize sometime this year ;o). Ok, so who's going to join me? You have a whole year to come up with the prizes and send them out so don't be intimidated. Come on!

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Lael had really taken to this Girl Scout's thing. She's sold over 40 boxes of cookies and has her eyes on a few other people to grab. One of the first activities she will be involved in is a Powder Puff Derby. The Girl and Boy Scouts get to build wooden cars and race them. We took her car to the wood shop on base yesterday and her dad sketched out a cool bat-mobile type of car and the guys cut it out and sanded it. She was super excited and can't wait to decorate it and attach the wheels.



I had to borrow a camera and haven't got the pictures but I'll put them up soon.



The races will soon begin! Let the best car win. Ours, ahem, I mean hers will give them a run for their money, I hope.

Photo Of The Week-Week 2

Victory! Reading Green Eggs and Ham for the first time all.by.yourself. calls for celebration right?

Finally Letting Myself Breath

I'm breathing again. The last few days have really tested me as a mother. The last time I spent so many hours in a hospital I was giving birth to little miss twinkletoes.

Of course, I spent last night in sleeping with her in her tiny twin size bed. Well, I guess using the word sleep would be a lie, so let's say I lay in bed with her. Every time she coughed or moved I was checking her pulse and wrapping my hands around her to feel her heart beating in my hands.

It's amazing how far you will go when you feel your child's health is at stake. She slept pretty well, you know as good as a kid can sleep with their annoying mother asking them every few hours how their chest feels.

She got up and went off to school and I went off to work preparing to leave early to take her to her 3:30 appointment. Because of all the commuting I do I planned to be out of my office by 1. Yeah. Not so much. We had a meeting from 10-11 and the whole while I was nervous about being away from my phone. I get back up to my desk and I had a missed call from 10:58. Lael's school. There was a message about her having chest pains again.

I just about threw up at that point. I cursed and mumbled under my breath. Not at the fact that they had to call me again, but because I hate to see any child in pain especially mine. Pain without an answer is just the worse.

I had the car at the metro garage so I quickly hopped on the train and was at her school in no time. She seemed chipper when I got there but insisted that she was still having chest pains. I decided that since I had her appointment at the "better" hospital that I would just go there and take her straight to their ER. I wasn't taking any chances.

They did the same thing as yesterday. EKG, Vitals, and looked over the X-rays from the day prior. After 3 hours or so they discharged her with the same deer in headlights look. No clue. I got out of there about 5 minutes before her scheduled appointment so decided I would walk down the hall and let a "real" pediatrician give her a look over. You know, for extra precaution.

Boy am I glad I did. They gave her would would be her 3rd EKG (just to be safe) and gave her PNT test (for asthma) and poked and prodded. Brought in more doctors who poked and prodded and finally came up with some results. Acid Reflux. She had this as a baby. She puked after ever. single. feeding. Really, it completely sucked.

Now that she is older she just goes to the bathroom when she has to "spit up". Recently I thought she had been overeating but now that I put two and two together, it completely makes sense and I feel a little silly (stupid actually).

How could I have missed it. She has been "spitting up" alot lately. I don't know why it is happening frequently but I will now be keeping journal on when she spits up and what foods she ate before hand. I pack her lunch for school so that makes it easier for me to keep track. At least that what I think for now.

Ok so, baby is good. Her heart is nice and strong. Her lungs are clear as glass. And she gets to chew fruity Tums and is now sleeping peacefully, you know, without me squishing her in her bed.

I'm off to bed now. I feel as if I've been hit by a truck, twice. I guess this is how it feels when stress leaves the body. Unrelated to this, or maybe it is related. Her soon to be new doctor(because she totally rocked way more than Lael's current doctor) thinks she may have sleep apnea. You could probably hear her snoring if you listen closely. Can you hear it? No? Well I can and so can a church full of people which has happened often.

Ok, I'm off to bed, I'm starting to ramble. I think......

Oh, yeah, THANKS FOR ALL YOUR KIND WORDS AND PRAYERS. YOU GUYS ARE THE COOLEST EVER!

SPECIAL THANKS TO MRS HASKINS, I LOVE YOU!

Scared Beyond Words

Today has been exhausting, stressful, frighting and everything else along those lines. Saturday night we were at a friends and we had taken over our Dance Revolution pads to rock out with Lael's friends. The kids had been at it for an hour or so when my friend stopped by. Lael had just finished jumping around and dancing when she asked for water and lay down on the couch. My friend noticed her and pointed out how pale she looked and at the same time Lael told me her heart (I'm assuming she meant her chest) was hurting.

I told her to sit down and figured her heart rate was high because of all the jumping around and then I didn't think about it again that night. The next day she mentioned nothing, but Monday night she told me her "heart" was still hurting and that it hadn't gone away. Once again, I blew her off thinking she didn't really know what she was talking about.

Today I'm sitting at my desk at work and my cell phone rings. I had meant to turn it off but before I did I decided to call back the unknown number. Lael's school secretary answered and I immediately knew something was because her school never calls. I asked her who was trying to call my cell and she gave the phone to Lael's teacher's assistant. She explained to me that Lael didn't "look right" and that she had been complaining about chest pains. She took her down to the nurse who took her vitals and then they called back to say that everything seemed normal but she looked pale and continued to hold her chest complaining that her "heart" hurt.

At this point I went completely numb. I left work right away and got to her school in good time and then took her to the closest military base ER. Once we got there they took her back right away. She received 2 EKG tests and 2 chest X-rays. We were there for about 3 hours (which is GREAT from past experience) and then were discharged with no more answers then we came in with.



I have serious issues with some of our military health care facilities. It's not that I don't think they care or do their best but just that their best isn't good enough. Not for me and for damn sure not for my child. I was told that kids get aches and pains sometimes but all the tests seemed normal (even though Lael was still complaining of pain). I was told I would get a consult to Walter Reed (the military hospital that takes care of wounded war soldiers and is GREAT in my opinion) to see a Pediatric Cardiology Specialist. It will probably take a week before I actually get an appointment so in the meantime I am taking her there tomorrow to see her regular doctor.

I am stressed. I am worried. She is in the bed now and I have probably checked on her 3 or 4 times in the past 2 hrs to make sure she's breathing with a beating heart. I know it's paranoid but I don't feel as if I got any answers and don't know if there is really something seriously wrong with my baby. I am sure I won't get much sleep tonight and will be jumping at every cough or shuffle I hear coming from her room. I am almost debating about sleeping on her floor, or in the bed with her or putting her in the bed with me. It seems ridiculous but right before bed she whined about her heart beating too fast.

3:30 tomorrow can't come fast enough. I am anxious to get to a better hospital with better trained staff and hopefully get some answers. If she needs surgery, I'll fall apart but at least something will be done. If she has asthma, I'll freak but at least there are medicines for it. Whatever it may be I need an answer. She knows her body just like we know ours and she knows whens she's in pain and when she's not and dammit my baby is in pain and I can't fix it. Yet. But I will.

In the meantime, please extend your prayers to me and my baby. I couldn't survive something bad happening because of negligent doctors. Please pray for me please, please, please.

Better Than High School

So I'm just hangin' around the blog world and I get an email. It was from one of my bloggy friends, Jillene. Uh huh, and guess what she had to tell me?

She thinks I'm sour but sweet at the same time. Well not me but my blog, which is a part of me so, yeah me!

I got this:

It's a lemonade stand award. It means she thinks my blog has just the right amount of lemon and sugar to make a perfect summer treat! Isn't that the sweetest (no pun intended) Thanks Jillene! You are super cool, and I don't think I deserve it, but hell yeah I'll take it!

So far I am way cooler on the Internet than I ever was in High School! Go me! Go me!

Ahem.

Ok, moving on. So, now I get to bless a few others with the tangy-ness of this award.

Here are my 10....

1/Dusty

2/Heather

3/Carlota

4/Lara

5/Diamond

6/Jessica

7/Janelle

8/Pam

9/Capello

10/ Chris

Drink up the lemonade ladies and don't forget to share!!

When I'm Not Around

Wow, this is actually my 100th post. Getting back into my daily routine left me a little crazy this weekend so I decided to sit out of the usual Not Me! Monday. Instead I wanted this post to be about something crazy, you know like the fact that the Jamaican lady gave me an invitation to her 60th birthday party.

Or about how when Lael tried to explain her Tinkerbell Nail Salon she got from Santa and said "You know the nail thing that makes my paws look pretty." Yeah. Because people have paws just like animals.

Or how Lael had just joined a Girl Scout's Daisy troop is extra psyched out. Yeah, I said it.

But no, riding home on the Metro this evening completely opened my eyes to what I want to talk about.

What will my daughter turn out like? Will she be like the "ghetto fabulous" girls I see everyday on the train. You know, the one's that look like they just stepped out of a 50 Cent video? I wonder if their mothers know what they are doing when they are not around.

Cursing worse then men. Jeans so tight they could be painted on. Earrings so big it makes the holes in their ears droop. Heavy makeup. Smacking gum in their mouths like it's their last meal. Talking about how this boy did this and that girl did that. Not that I'm eavesdropping. No, they just talk that loud. I have to practically deafen myself with my iPod to tune them out.

It actually makes me sad. It makes my stomach turn a little. What will these girls do with their lives. I know not all of them come from the wealthiest of homes but money doesn't make a person. Being military we have nice lives. But is all it is. There is nothing glamorous about how we live. But we make due with what we have.

I'm sure the mothers of these girls do the same. They work multiple jobs and most of them don't have a father in their lives, but still, I'm sure their parents teach them better. I make it a
point to correct Lael when she says "yeah" instead of "yes". When she answers me "uh huh" instead of "yes ma'am". When she says she "ain't got" something vs. she "doesn't have".

The question is do these things matter? Am I waisting my time and effort in pounding these things into her? Will she wait for me to turn the corner and start cursing like the worst of them. Will I send her to school in her cute outfit only for her to go to the bathroom and put on a mini skirt and too much makeup?

What will happen? What will my daughter do when I'm not around? What are your children doing when you aren't around? How can I feel secure in that I'm raising a child that will act right when I'm around and later in life when she's on her own.

These things worry me. What future is in store for our youth when all they see on t.v. and walking down the streets are the things we don't want them to be?

I know that I will not stop. I will do my best to teach her right from wrong and then close my eyes and cross my fingers that I've done as best as I can. Will she do the same?

Photo Of The Week-Week 1

Something new I'm going to do in '09 on my blog is to feature my favorite picture of the week. Shall we begin?





Yes, I'm always being watched.