Scared Beyond Words

Today has been exhausting, stressful, frighting and everything else along those lines. Saturday night we were at a friends and we had taken over our Dance Revolution pads to rock out with Lael's friends. The kids had been at it for an hour or so when my friend stopped by. Lael had just finished jumping around and dancing when she asked for water and lay down on the couch. My friend noticed her and pointed out how pale she looked and at the same time Lael told me her heart (I'm assuming she meant her chest) was hurting.

I told her to sit down and figured her heart rate was high because of all the jumping around and then I didn't think about it again that night. The next day she mentioned nothing, but Monday night she told me her "heart" was still hurting and that it hadn't gone away. Once again, I blew her off thinking she didn't really know what she was talking about.

Today I'm sitting at my desk at work and my cell phone rings. I had meant to turn it off but before I did I decided to call back the unknown number. Lael's school secretary answered and I immediately knew something was because her school never calls. I asked her who was trying to call my cell and she gave the phone to Lael's teacher's assistant. She explained to me that Lael didn't "look right" and that she had been complaining about chest pains. She took her down to the nurse who took her vitals and then they called back to say that everything seemed normal but she looked pale and continued to hold her chest complaining that her "heart" hurt.

At this point I went completely numb. I left work right away and got to her school in good time and then took her to the closest military base ER. Once we got there they took her back right away. She received 2 EKG tests and 2 chest X-rays. We were there for about 3 hours (which is GREAT from past experience) and then were discharged with no more answers then we came in with.



I have serious issues with some of our military health care facilities. It's not that I don't think they care or do their best but just that their best isn't good enough. Not for me and for damn sure not for my child. I was told that kids get aches and pains sometimes but all the tests seemed normal (even though Lael was still complaining of pain). I was told I would get a consult to Walter Reed (the military hospital that takes care of wounded war soldiers and is GREAT in my opinion) to see a Pediatric Cardiology Specialist. It will probably take a week before I actually get an appointment so in the meantime I am taking her there tomorrow to see her regular doctor.

I am stressed. I am worried. She is in the bed now and I have probably checked on her 3 or 4 times in the past 2 hrs to make sure she's breathing with a beating heart. I know it's paranoid but I don't feel as if I got any answers and don't know if there is really something seriously wrong with my baby. I am sure I won't get much sleep tonight and will be jumping at every cough or shuffle I hear coming from her room. I am almost debating about sleeping on her floor, or in the bed with her or putting her in the bed with me. It seems ridiculous but right before bed she whined about her heart beating too fast.

3:30 tomorrow can't come fast enough. I am anxious to get to a better hospital with better trained staff and hopefully get some answers. If she needs surgery, I'll fall apart but at least something will be done. If she has asthma, I'll freak but at least there are medicines for it. Whatever it may be I need an answer. She knows her body just like we know ours and she knows whens she's in pain and when she's not and dammit my baby is in pain and I can't fix it. Yet. But I will.

In the meantime, please extend your prayers to me and my baby. I couldn't survive something bad happening because of negligent doctors. Please pray for me please, please, please.