Wow, this is actually my 100th post. Getting back into my daily routine left me a little crazy this weekend so I decided to sit out of the usual Not Me! Monday. Instead I wanted this post to be about something crazy, you know like the fact that the Jamaican lady gave me an invitation to her 60th birthday party.
Or about how when Lael tried to explain her Tinkerbell Nail Salon she got from Santa and said "You know the nail thing that makes my paws look pretty." Yeah. Because people have paws just like animals.
Or how Lael had just joined a Girl Scout's Daisy troop is extra psyched out. Yeah, I said it.
But no, riding home on the Metro this evening completely opened my eyes to what I want to talk about.
What will my daughter turn out like? Will she be like the "ghetto fabulous" girls I see everyday on the train. You know, the one's that look like they just stepped out of a 50 Cent video? I wonder if their mothers know what they are doing when they are not around.
Cursing worse then men. Jeans so tight they could be painted on. Earrings so big it makes the holes in their ears droop. Heavy makeup. Smacking gum in their mouths like it's their last meal. Talking about how this boy did this and that girl did that. Not that I'm eavesdropping. No, they just talk that loud. I have to practically deafen myself with my iPod to tune them out.
It actually makes me sad. It makes my stomach turn a little. What will these girls do with their lives. I know not all of them come from the wealthiest of homes but money doesn't make a person. Being military we have nice lives. But is all it is. There is nothing glamorous about how we live. But we make due with what we have.
I'm sure the mothers of these girls do the same. They work multiple jobs and most of them don't have a father in their lives, but still, I'm sure their parents teach them better. I make it a
point to correct Lael when she says "yeah" instead of "yes". When she answers me "uh huh" instead of "yes ma'am". When she says she "ain't got" something vs. she "doesn't have".
The question is do these things matter? Am I waisting my time and effort in pounding these things into her? Will she wait for me to turn the corner and start cursing like the worst of them. Will I send her to school in her cute outfit only for her to go to the bathroom and put on a mini skirt and too much makeup?
What will happen? What will my daughter do when I'm not around? What are your children doing when you aren't around? How can I feel secure in that I'm raising a child that will act right when I'm around and later in life when she's on her own.
These things worry me. What future is in store for our youth when all they see on t.v. and walking down the streets are the things we don't want them to be?
I know that I will not stop. I will do my best to teach her right from wrong and then close my eyes and cross my fingers that I've done as best as I can. Will she do the same?