Finally Letting Myself Breath

I'm breathing again. The last few days have really tested me as a mother. The last time I spent so many hours in a hospital I was giving birth to little miss twinkletoes.

Of course, I spent last night in sleeping with her in her tiny twin size bed. Well, I guess using the word sleep would be a lie, so let's say I lay in bed with her. Every time she coughed or moved I was checking her pulse and wrapping my hands around her to feel her heart beating in my hands.

It's amazing how far you will go when you feel your child's health is at stake. She slept pretty well, you know as good as a kid can sleep with their annoying mother asking them every few hours how their chest feels.

She got up and went off to school and I went off to work preparing to leave early to take her to her 3:30 appointment. Because of all the commuting I do I planned to be out of my office by 1. Yeah. Not so much. We had a meeting from 10-11 and the whole while I was nervous about being away from my phone. I get back up to my desk and I had a missed call from 10:58. Lael's school. There was a message about her having chest pains again.

I just about threw up at that point. I cursed and mumbled under my breath. Not at the fact that they had to call me again, but because I hate to see any child in pain especially mine. Pain without an answer is just the worse.

I had the car at the metro garage so I quickly hopped on the train and was at her school in no time. She seemed chipper when I got there but insisted that she was still having chest pains. I decided that since I had her appointment at the "better" hospital that I would just go there and take her straight to their ER. I wasn't taking any chances.

They did the same thing as yesterday. EKG, Vitals, and looked over the X-rays from the day prior. After 3 hours or so they discharged her with the same deer in headlights look. No clue. I got out of there about 5 minutes before her scheduled appointment so decided I would walk down the hall and let a "real" pediatrician give her a look over. You know, for extra precaution.

Boy am I glad I did. They gave her would would be her 3rd EKG (just to be safe) and gave her PNT test (for asthma) and poked and prodded. Brought in more doctors who poked and prodded and finally came up with some results. Acid Reflux. She had this as a baby. She puked after ever. single. feeding. Really, it completely sucked.

Now that she is older she just goes to the bathroom when she has to "spit up". Recently I thought she had been overeating but now that I put two and two together, it completely makes sense and I feel a little silly (stupid actually).

How could I have missed it. She has been "spitting up" alot lately. I don't know why it is happening frequently but I will now be keeping journal on when she spits up and what foods she ate before hand. I pack her lunch for school so that makes it easier for me to keep track. At least that what I think for now.

Ok so, baby is good. Her heart is nice and strong. Her lungs are clear as glass. And she gets to chew fruity Tums and is now sleeping peacefully, you know, without me squishing her in her bed.

I'm off to bed now. I feel as if I've been hit by a truck, twice. I guess this is how it feels when stress leaves the body. Unrelated to this, or maybe it is related. Her soon to be new doctor(because she totally rocked way more than Lael's current doctor) thinks she may have sleep apnea. You could probably hear her snoring if you listen closely. Can you hear it? No? Well I can and so can a church full of people which has happened often.

Ok, I'm off to bed, I'm starting to ramble. I think......

Oh, yeah, THANKS FOR ALL YOUR KIND WORDS AND PRAYERS. YOU GUYS ARE THE COOLEST EVER!

SPECIAL THANKS TO MRS HASKINS, I LOVE YOU!