Monday, October 18, 2010

She's Tough But She's Still A Girl

Editor's Note: I wrote a rough draft of this post on paper with an actual pencil while pumping (shut it, y'all sometimes share TMI too). For some reason I decided to write in cursive and soon realized I can no longer actually write in cursive. As in I've forgotten how. I physically couldn't get my hand to do it. Is that what happens from spending so much time typing? Scary.

Last Wednesday I felt awful. While that is not what this story is about, it's info you should have to put yourself in my shoes.

As much as I didn't want to, I took Lael to soccer practice anyway (it was either that or stay back and cook dinner).

It was already in a bad mood because of the awfulness I felt and because my hubby acts like it would kill him to handle practice, the baby and dinner while I checked out for the night.

So anyway, I was full of pissiness when practice started. Lael decided to see how far over the edge she could push me by getting put in time-out with another girl. During practice. Yes, time-out.

I fussed at her that if she was going to spend practice in time-out we could just go home where it's much more comfortable.

She pulled herself together just in time for a little boy on her team to take her place. He was Out Of Control. This boy had never been a problem before and is one of the few coordinated kids on the team.

The first few times he "bumped" into Lael and knocked her down I let it go. But soon the other parents around me started making comments about how he was throwing himself into the others but focusing on Lael because she was the fastest with the ball.

I watched and gave the coach a chance to correct his behavior. He did nothing.

Then the boy began kicking so high he kicked the coach a few times and another boy got kicked on the arm. Yes, the arm. Still nothing was done.

The childs mom was walking the track so I flagged her down and told her what was going on.

She yelled for him to knock it off. He didn't listen.

He knocked Lael down again.

I said nothing.

Then at one point he Lael stole the ball from him and he took both hands and shoved her to the ground.

I may or may not have lost my fucking mind at that point.

I mean come the fuck on. How much of this was gonna happen? I'm all for being aggressive but play by the fucking rules kid.

I told him to cut that shit out and he did. But t
he continued to kick so high he made Lael fall and twist her arm.

I was so pissed I yanked her from practice early.

On the way off the field I spoke to his mom. I was polite but firm. She was equally pissed and was waiting for practice to be over before ripping him a new ass.

So Saturday they had a game. I spoke to the boy and both of his parents. I joked that he was upset Lael was faster than him but if he shoved her again she had my permisson to whoophis ass. We laughed but I was serious.

Our team won. Guess who calmed down and followed the rules?

Guess who scored the most?


  1. good for you! I hope that when the time comes that I will be able to follow your lead. You let Lael handle it until it was obvious that parental interference was needed. And you taught her that the best way to diffuse a situation is with a dose of humour, even if the humour is laced with a heaping pile of veiled threat.

  2. You are so inspiring, Keyona. Even if you can't write in cursive. :)

    (Cursive is so last decade. They're taught to type instead now, right?)

  3. Cursive has me freaked out. Emily is just starting to learn some of it and I can't help out all. I mean seriously, how the hell do you right a cursive F?!

    Good for you for standing up for your girl. I would've addressed it with the Coach instead of the parents - but, you are much braver than I. :)

  4. Way to go, Mama Bear. And cursive is's how I write but no one writes it "properly" so wtf??

  5. OMG, now I see why my oldest sticks to dance. :)

    And as for the cursive, I can't do it either, and when I had to help my daughter practice last year, I was no help at all. Sort of embarrassing.


Those laughing with me...or at me.