Thursday, April 1, 2010

Guess Who Called Me?

If you guessed my mother finally broke down and called me you would be wrong.

My father did.

We didn't speak about my mom or why she has cut me and my brothers off.

He simply wanted to drop off an Easter basket. Not for both the girls but just for Lael. They barely acknowledge D.

He asked if Lael needed anything and we arranged for a time for him to come by.

At no point did he ask how I was doing.

I literally cried when I typed that sentence. He didn't care to even ask about me.

I am struggling friends. My head tells me to be strong but my heart is soft, therefore it's bruised easily.

And this too shall pass....I know this.

But damn I wish it would hurry already.


  1. Although difficult, I think sometimes it's easier for parents to start with their grandkids. They forgive so much easier because they don't have the background knowledge and they have no idea the hurt that this person has caused.

    I think he's making his way to you - he's just using the path of least resistance right now.

    I'm happy that he's bringing something for Lael - she'll remember that.

    Good luck friend.

  2. Awh that sucks hun, stay strong!! xoxo

  3. That just brought me to tears. Your parents are missing out on so much. All I can say is "Thank you for your service to our country. You are a hero. Thank you for being a great Mom. You are their hero. Thank you for sharing your life. You have touched many."

  4. I had waaaay too many incidents just like this one with my own father. It got to be too emotionally draining for me and I am done. I am not strong enough to keep letting him in my life, give him another chance and another and then another and then get disappointed over and over again. I can't do this. He might change, who knows? He might just need 10 more chances, but I will never know.
    I am still angry and clearly need to work on this, only this time I know it is me who needs to change and find another perspective - I can't keep waiting on him.
    Sorry, for the rant - just wanted to say, I feel your tears.

  5. My SIL is from Japan and they were living there for a few years before they decided to move back to the states. When my SIL's mom found out they were leaving Japan she completely dissowned her and threw away all her pictures and stuff, and said she never wanted to see or hear her again.
    They didn't speak for years until one day my SIL's mom called up and started talking to her like nothing had happened.
    I hope someday your parents will realize the huge mistake they're making and give you a call. And if not, it is entirely their loss, you are an awesome person.

  6. {{hugs}} At least he's reaching out to Lael... Stay strong.

  7. I've been there. It is so hard. Feel it, Keyona. Feel it and then, you're right, this too shall pass. Hugs.

  8. Oh Keyona, I'm so sorry. The more you share about your family (or lack thereof) the more inspired I am by who YOU are, and the family you and your husband are creating for your children. I know I've said it before, but you are an amazing woman. You really have broken the cycle and one day your kids will understand that, and love you even deeper than they already do.

  9. I am sorry you are having a rough time right now. I will pray that you find peace.

  10. Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry I'm late to this post. You know, my dad was emotionally unavailable for a lot of my childhood; I see him with my kids and I almost don't recognize him. Why wasn't he that hands-on with me?

    It does sort of hurt. Not anything near your level, but I do empathize.

    I had a friend who had a troubled relationship with her parents. She kept a sign in her bathroom that said, "Friends are the family you can choose." We're here for you. :(

  11. Sending you hugs! That sucks, it really does, but I guess you could choose to focus on the fact that he did call? Maybe it was a big step for him? I really don't know, but I'm just trying to make you feel better about a bummer situation.

  12. Oh lady, I'm sorry. It's just hard. It sucks, and I'm sorry.


Those laughing with me...or at me.