Creepy Guy

I originally planned to write a post about how tired I am, but then realized no one cares.

Instead I’m going to tell you about a phone call I just got.

So in the Air Force we have to have an annual physical. It’s called a PHA (Physical Health Assessment).

You make an appointment and when you get there they make you fill out a bunch of forms. You give some blood to be used for standard tests and then they send you on your way until the next year.

I am due for my PHA.

I received and email saying that I qualified to take my PHA online.

I can only imagine that means that I’m healthy enough that I don’t actually have to go in to see a doctor.

So I proceed with logging on the website and filling out the questionnaire.

I asked if I drink regularly. If I have thoughts of suicide. If I eat healthy and exercise.

You know, the usual.

So I finish up and it says to send an email to a particular address when complete.

So I did.

I get an email back saying that I will be contacted by someone.

That was last month.

Then I get a phone call at my desk this morning.

I’m a little freaked out because there is this creepy guy on the other end asking for me.

When I say creepy I mean his voice sounded like he was a smoker, who had just rolled out of bed, robbed a bank, and was using me as his one call from jail.

I had already answered the phone with my last name so I can’t pretend it’s not me.

Apparently he was from the clinic and wanted to know if I had a few minutes to answer a few questions.

As much as I wanted to scream and throw the phone, I said yes.

The first thing he asked for was my social. Ugh.

I gave it to him. I mean shit, if he can get any type of credit by taking my social, I’d have a heart attack.

So then he asks me when the last time I had an HIV test.

Um? Not sure.

Most likely when I was pregnant and they took so much blood it makes you queasy.

But the thing that worried me is if he pulled up my file with my social, why couldn’t he see all of this information?

So he says that he put in a ticket for me to go to the Lab to have blood taken and that I need to fast for 12 hrs before.

Ok. I can do that.

He then schedules me for an appointment with my doctor.

On November 11th.

I’m not genius but isn’t that Veteran’s Day?

So let me get this straight.

I have a military clinic trying to schedule a military person for an appointment of an Federal Holdiay honoring military?

What’s wrong with this picture?

Needless to say, I pointed that out and he scheduled me for the 12th.

Creepy idiot.