In Need Of Sister Wives...and other stuff

I started post yesterday about my weekend.  I was about  taking down Christmas decorations and all that.  You know the usual.

Of course my insane life took over once again and now it’s pointless to post it.  So let’s move on.

Here a few things you should know.  For lack of time and pure laziness I will deliver it in bullet format.

·         I survived my first week of Marketing 100.  It’s not that bad. Yet.

·         Kobi is confused with a newborn.  His waking up every 2 hrs the few nights is Kicking My Ass.

·         Lael started basketball.  How cute is that.  I will be taking tons of pictures to share.  Your welcome.

·         I started P90X yesterday.  Shut up.  I am well aware that I’ve started it twice before. And failed.

·         If you haven’t tried Hamburger Helpers Chicken Fried Rice your life isn’t complete.  Go get some.

·         I am currently taking applications for a Sister Wife.  Or someone to take my hubby off my hands.

·         We are expecting our first snow storm.  Between 1-4 inches.  Yeah. I’ll believe it when I see it.

·         I currently hurt a friends feeling and am now beating myself up.  This makes me sad.

·         I am going to buy myself new clothes with income tax.  What’s your must have item this season?

As you can see my life has been full of interesting facts. Or not. Whatever.  What are your feeling on becoming my Sister Wives?

Weekend Recap~A Baby Shower

I have a friend who has 2 boys. One is 12 and the other is 9. She is now pregnant with a little girl.
My hubby is friends with her hubby. This is the only couple we have in common.

This may be weird to some of you but most of my husband’s friends are single and most of my friends, well, I don’t have any other friends in the area.

So when my friend was around 5 mths pregnant, I asked her if anyone was throwing her a baby shower.

That is how I became the host of her baby shower on Saturday.

I had everything planned out but being the perfect procrastinator that I am, I still had tons to do.

Friday I left work a little early and headed to the store. I had to buy food and drinks for the party.

Once I got back home, I recruited Lael to help me put the gift boxes together.

I rewarded her with candy. She easy like that.

Saturday was a marathon.

It was the Super Sonics last soccer game.

It was also in the 30s.

We froze but we won.

Lael didn’t score a goal but played good defense.

After the game we walked across the field and the kids were given cupcakes and their trophies.

It was the ghettoest awards ceremony I’ve ever seen.

Usually we have a big ceremony at the youth center with all of the teams and we have pizza and cake.

(Apparently now that the Navy has taken over our base things are done differently.)

After the “ceremony” we headed back home but not before stopping at a community yard sale.

I scored brand new baby walking shoes for $2 and a few brand new baby toys for Kobi. Lael was able to get some stick thing for free.

We then made it home where I proceeded to make lasagna, green beans, fruit salad and Carlota’s Perfect Punch minus a few things.

Me and Lael gathered all of our games and headed down the street to set up.

The baby shower was a success.

We played “Guess What’s In The Diaper” and “Dress the Baby (with a partner using 1 hand each)”.

Fun was had by all.

I didn’t get out of there until after 8pm.

I went home and collapsed in bed.

I woke up yesterday with the mother of all headaches.

That was an excuse for me to stay in my pjs and on the couch catching up on my DVR.

I’m thankful that this is a short week, though I’m a little disappointed that the holiday in on a Thursday rather than Friday.

I mean what’s the point?

Happy Monday

Weekend Recap~Birthday/Halloween Edition

It’s Monday and I am exhausted. I got no rest this weekend. Big surprise.

I took off of work Thursday and Friday so I started my weekend early.

Thursday I got up and headed to Lael’s school. We went on a field trip to a local bookstore where a children’s book author came to read a few of his bat books to them.

After the trip we headed back to the school where Lael shared cupcakes with all her friends to celebrate her birthday.

Friday (Lael’s actual birthday) we got up early for a 7am dentist appointment. I know. I’m an AWESOME mother. Hey, she was out of school that day so I had to take advantage of it.

The original plan was for her to get sealants on her molars. However, after she gagged a few times while they were trying to get x-rays, they decided a cleaning and flouride would do it for the day.

Later that evening we headed to Lael's school for the Annual Halloween Ball. Oh the cute. I mean, come on. It was almost too much for me to handle. And you wouldn’t believe the squeals that I heard when the DJ played Justin Beiber’s “Baby”. Hilarious.

Saturday morning we got up early again and headed to Lael’s soccer game. Her games were usually at 10 but this one was at 9. I don’t know if it was because of the time change or the fact that it was only 40 degrees out but the kids sucked. I mean we kick ass in every game but they sucked bad.

Lael got a bloody lip in the first 10 mins and hit in the eye with the ball in the last 10. And the 20 in between were just horrible. The kids couldn’t wait for their turn to be benched so they could put their coats back on.

Right after the game we headed home to get ready for Lael’s costume bowling party. Fun. Fun. I’m so tired, but oh the Fun! The kids bowled, told scary stories, ate pizza and cake and I sent their cute little asses home.

Grandma took the girls with her after the party so me, hubby and Kobi went home and crashed.

Yesterday I woke up and ate leftover cake for breakfast. It was really that kind of weekend.

I headed out to the store with a friend to get some baby shower decorations. We spend most of our time driving around letting the GPS get us lost and then being stuck in traffic.

By the time we got home, there was just enough time to get Lael to Burger King, come home to eat it and get ready for Trick or Treating.

I got Kobi and her ready and we were out. It was freezing! Wind and all. After about an hour and a half we called it quits.

We were home by 7:30 and I had Lael in the bed with teeth brushed by 9. And then she was up crying about ghost at 9:30. And then she was up again at 10:30. And again at 11.

And here I sit at my computer at work. Just glad to be sitting.

Happy Monday!

She's Tough But She's Still A Girl

Editor's Note: I wrote a rough draft of this post on paper with an actual pencil while pumping (shut it, y'all sometimes share TMI too). For some reason I decided to write in cursive and soon realized I can no longer actually write in cursive. As in I've forgotten how. I physically couldn't get my hand to do it. Is that what happens from spending so much time typing? Scary.

Last Wednesday I felt awful. While that is not what this story is about, it's info you should have to put yourself in my shoes.

As much as I didn't want to, I took Lael to soccer practice anyway (it was either that or stay back and cook dinner).

It was already in a bad mood because of the awfulness I felt and because my hubby acts like it would kill him to handle practice, the baby and dinner while I checked out for the night.

So anyway, I was full of pissiness when practice started. Lael decided to see how far over the edge she could push me by getting put in time-out with another girl. During practice. Yes, time-out.

I fussed at her that if she was going to spend practice in time-out we could just go home where it's much more comfortable.

She pulled herself together just in time for a little boy on her team to take her place. He was Out Of Control. This boy had never been a problem before and is one of the few coordinated kids on the team.

The first few times he "bumped" into Lael and knocked her down I let it go. But soon the other parents around me started making comments about how he was throwing himself into the others but focusing on Lael because she was the fastest with the ball.

I watched and gave the coach a chance to correct his behavior. He did nothing.

Then the boy began kicking so high he kicked the coach a few times and another boy got kicked on the arm. Yes, the arm. Still nothing was done.

The childs mom was walking the track so I flagged her down and told her what was going on.

She yelled for him to knock it off. He didn't listen.

He knocked Lael down again.

I said nothing.

Then at one point he Lael stole the ball from him and he took both hands and shoved her to the ground.

I may or may not have lost my fucking mind at that point.

I mean come the fuck on. How much of this was gonna happen? I'm all for being aggressive but play by the fucking rules kid.

I told him to cut that shit out and he did. But t
he continued to kick so high he made Lael fall and twist her arm.

I was so pissed I yanked her from practice early.

On the way off the field I spoke to his mom. I was polite but firm. She was equally pissed and was waiting for practice to be over before ripping him a new ass.

So Saturday they had a game. I spoke to the boy and both of his parents. I joked that he was upset Lael was faster than him but if he shoved her again she had my permisson to whoophis ass. We laughed but I was serious.

Our team won. Guess who calmed down and followed the rules?

Guess who scored the most?

I Think She'll Be Scoring....A Lot

Yesterday was the start of soccer.

I know it's kind of late in the season but that's how we roll her on the base.  They press us to have our registration papers and money in by a certain date but then take their time actually starting.

Lael missed the first practice because they needed a family to switch teams to accommodate another family and me being the awesome kind-hearted person I am, volunteered.

Lael will be 7 at the end of October.  I was curious as to whether they would put her on the 7-9 year old team or the 5-6 year old team.  

Well they decided to put her with the 5 yr olds.  While some parents may have fought the decision.  I giggled a little.  She's the biggest one out there but she fits right in.

I was amazed at how well she was doing since she hasn't played soccer since she was 4.

They started off practicing their skillz and then it was time for a scrimmage game.

They also took TONS of water breaks.  You can see she took her blue Gatorade serious.

If you look you will notice Lael isn't in this photo.  That's because she was scoring a goal.  She did that about 3 more times.  Yeah. She kinda rocked.

Funny because I had to convince her to play this year.  I'm glad I pushed her. She had a blast.

(You notice she's wearing the same clothes as the pictures from 2 years ago....yeah...she's tiny)

Getting My Groove Back

You know you have a friend for life when you mention your notebook having a virus and she fixes it for you....for free!

So now that I have my electronic baby back I'm ready to get back in the swing of things.

So much has happened in the last 2 months.  Just when I've settled us into a routine, it's time for that routine to change.

As of today, I will be back at work in 13 days. *SIGH*

I can say I will die if I have to leave my baby. But the truth is I will go to work because it's what I have to do to take care of my family.

As of now, Hubby will stay at home with Kobi.  That makes me a little itchy all over.  It's not that he isn't capable of caring for him but you know.  He's my baby!

****************
Now that I have my computer back I can share these pictures with you all.

Memorial Day

Baby Brother's Graduation

School Block Party

Gettin' Some Sun

First Swim Meet (She doesn't dive, she runs, in the water)

The Party Don't Stop

Ok, so most of you know that I've been coaching little cheerleaders.

While it's been challenging and exhausing and well, you get the point.

But it was all worth it on Saturday when my little ones got out on the court and shook their tailfeathers!

Of course you see Lael is the only one on point. It may or may not be because I made her practice over and over and over again.

And if you look really close in the back you can see a fat whale (that would be me) controlling the music.

All the work the girls put into it was totally worth it.

I may be crazy enough to coach again next year....maybe.




Is this not the cutest crap you ever did see?

No?

If you don't think so you're obviously dead inside. Just sayin'.

Happy Monday!

Can You Guess Who Took Shots Of My Ass?

I took this picture before we went Lael's first game last Friday. Cute right?

 

Once I got to the game I realized I couldn't coach and take pictures at the same time.  This is when I passed it to one of the parents who had forgotten their camera. 

Cool right?  They would take pictures of their kid and mine.

Except.

Most of the pictures turned out like this:
(Me trying to get up off my knees)



Or this one where I was nicely bent over cheering the girls on as they prepared for their half-time cheer.



Or this one where I am BLINKING! Are you serious?



He (yes of course it was a man) did manage to get one good picture.



How cute is she?  Oh and Lael is cute to huh? Ha!

Happy Friday!

I Blame My Hormones...And Her Mother

I have a confession.

I love coaching cheerleading.

Ok, well that's not the real confession but I feel I need to put that out there as a disclaimer.

The truth is.....there is one little girl on my squad....

That I can't stand.

I mean, I want to strangle her.

I know, I'm going straight to hell.

From the first day she walked into the Youth Center, I cringed.

I had never met her before.  But I just knew.

Her mother annoys me and I'm sure she's to blame.

Or not. 

Can you blame a mother for how her 7yr old turns out.

She talks over us all time, she bothers the other girls around her and she thinks she know every cheer before we teach it.

I split the girls up and show them a cheer and she tries to finish it before I've finished teaching it.

Then when it's her turn to show me she can't remember how to do it at all.

I want to yell shutthefuckupandlistentowhatI'mtryingtotellyou.  But I don't.  I smile.  And sternly ask her to listen.

But I'm dying inside.

My chest is burning with all the things I want to scream at her.

How could this one child get to me so much?

Last week her mother asked if she could move to the 8-10 group because the practice times were more convienent for her.  It's not my decision I told her,  she's placed in our squad based upon her age....but I also said that she should ask.

At this point, I'm willing to forge her paperwork so that she can get the hell off of my squad.

Can you blame me?

In Which I Will Continue To Whine...Because I Can

I don't think I have anything witty to say.

Being military can really suck sometimes.  One of the sucky factors is that I am a PT monitor.

You know what that means? That means I get to admister a test to make sure Air Force members in my unit are staying fit.  This includes a 1.5 mile run, push-ups, sit-ups, height and weight measurments and taping of the waist.

I don't mind so much doin this.  What I do mind is someone requesting that I do the test at 7am when I don't get to work until 7:30. And then after asking me to do the test at 7am try to talk me into doing it even earlier. 

What the fuck do I look like.

That being said.  I had another night of NO SLEEP.  Went to bed around 9:45.  Didn't fall asleep until after 10 and was up at 1.  That's it.  I could NOT sleep after 1.  Unless you include my 15 min nap around 4:45.  I was back up at 5:30 and out of the house before 6am.

And did I mention is cold as a polar bears balls out? 

In addition to all that's going on, I will NOT, I repeat, NOT, be going home and relaxing when I get off.

Instead Lael will be cheering at her first basketball game at 6pm which means I have to be there at 5:30 to get the girls settled and warmed up.

And do you think I'll be headed home after that?  If you do, you are WRONG.

Lael's usual Saturday gymnastics was moved to tonight at 7pm.

Am I crazy? Do I want to drive myself batshit?

I need a drink, and am not happy that I have to wait until GODKNOWSWHEN to have one.

Maybe I should re-think the whole breastfeeding thing. I mean seriously.  I NEED A DRINK.

That is all for now....

Carry on.

Cuz I'm A Sucker

So last night was Lael's first day of Cheerleading practice.  If any of you have been hanging around long enough to remember, I was the assistant coach last year of about 15 5-7 yr old girls.

Yeah. I know.

So Saturday when I signed her up (at the last minute) the Youth Center Director thought he was slick and tired to slide coaching papers towards me.

I protested at first but then found out that there was only one coach so far.  I decided to sign up as as and assistant coach again but insisted that the moment I got overtired I was going to sit my pregnant ass down.

So back to last night.  Me and a few other parents are there for our 6pm practice but others show up saying it's at 6:30.  The coach hadn't shown up yet and I was slowly getting pissy.

Finaly at 6:20 she shows up.  No idea how she told half of us one time and the other half another time.  In addition to that, there were girls of all ages, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10.  That didn't seem right.  Well I found out that she was the coach for both teams.

Well that shit wasn't going to work.

The military Youth Sports program is ran by volunteer parents.  No volunteers. No coaches. No team.

So long story short, me and the other mom who coached the 5-7 group last year will be coaching again this year.  Except I had to talk the other mom into it which means I'm the head coach.  Huh?

How'd that happen?

I know.  I'm a sucker.

Wordless Wednesday (Nation's Capital)

What's A Baseball Season Without Trophies?

Friday night was the Baseball End of Season Party.

I for one have never been more happy for the END of that.

Don't get me wrong. It was fun. But FUN can even become exhausting sometimes.

I have learned quite a few things after being Team Mom of this fun sport that I will remember over the next few years.

1. Team Mom really means assistant coach, snack organizer, bandaide put'er on'er, water bottle police, and referee.

2. Even if you arrange the snack roster, re-confirm the snack roster, snacks will still be forgotten.

3. When the above happens, everyone will look at YOU and YOU will be blamed for the kids not having snacks. Even if they don't SAY it, the looks speak loud enough.

4. You are responsible for handling the kids on the benches and by the end of the season you will be comfortable enough to grab some by the collar and not even care if the parents see. Just kidding. No really.

5. Even though it's not mandatory, the coach will need a gift at the end of season and you have to come up with ideas.

6. When you come up with said present and send it out to everyone you will get NO responses.

7. When it's time for the party and presents those NON-RESPONDERS will have the nerve to ask you what you are giving the coach.

8. And they will say they are giving you money.

9. And they won't.

10. And you'll get an email from them 2 days later about the 5 dollar check they wrote you and you will start saving up for next years present because you are sure it will happen again no matter how much you SWEAR you won't volunteer again because you'll look at this face and know she needs you. (Longest run-on sentence EVAH!)

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Yesterday was the last game. It was a great 1st season for her. I don't know if she'll do it again next year but she said she wants to. Alot can change in a year.

For now, I'm just a proud mom who cheered on her baby in the pink helmet.

I ♥ Summer

Summer has always been my favorite season. I got married in the summer under a gazebo.

I love the heat. I love shorts and flip flops. I love swimming at the pool. I love amusement parks. I love boat rides and bike rides.

I love barbeque's and picnics. I love summer sports and fireflies. But most of all I love the time I get to spend with my girl.

I love perfect spiral curls right after swimming at the pool.

I love playing at the sand park after dark without a care.

I love fireworks that I can see from my bedroom window.

I love watching this little girl play her heart out on the field.

What are your favorite things about the summer?