The Pre-Op Appointment

Most of you know that Lael is scheduled to have a Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy on Monday.

Wednesday was her Pre-Op appointment.

It was a long day. Long. Very long.

Originally hubby was going to go with me.

Then we decided to leave him and Kobi home.

That morning I somehow ended up taking them both with me. Alone. (Still not sure how he got that one past me.)

Here is a glimpse of our day…….


In the car on the way to the hospital:

Her: “So let me get this straight, I will not be sleeping in the hospital on Monday, right?”

Me: giggle giggle “…..right….” giggle giggle

In the room with the first doctor:

Doc: “So, do you have any more questions?”

Me: “I think that’s it for me, Lael do you have any questions?”

Her: “Yeah, when can we eat.”

In the Pediatric Waiting Room:

Her: “I’m hungry.”

Me: “I know, it shouldn’t be much longer.”

In the room with the 2nd doctor:

Doc: (whispering to me) “Did they tell you she had to have blood taken?”

Me: (panicking and trying to whisper) “NO…..”

Doc: “How does she do with that?”

Me: “I can’t say, she never had to have that done.”

Doc: “How do you think she’ll do?”

Me: “As well as you would expect a 7yr old drama queen.”

Me: “Lael, sit down, and let them take your blood…..pressure.”

Doc: “Ok, now I will take your temperature, I’m just going to rub this thing across your forehead.”

Lael: “Didn’t they just do that in the other room?”

Me: “Ok, great job honey. Now listen. The doctors need to take a teeny bit of blood out of your arm.”

Lael: “……………”

(At this point we negotiated for 10 minutes why this had to be done and which arm and how it wasn’t going to hurt at all)

Lael: “They are going to need a smaller one if they thing they are going to stick that in my arm.”

(The doc then stuck himself and drew his own blood to show her how easy it was.)

Raise your hand if you think she bought it.

Yeah.

After 10 more minutes:

Me: “You have two choices. You give him your arm or we will go downstairs to the Pediatric Clinic where the nurses will hold you down.”

Lael: “How about I just go home.”

I then had to do what any other mother in my position would do (or not).

I sat on her. I held her legs between my legs. I held her arm.

She then proceeded to lose her fucking mind.

She screamed. She hit. She cried. I cried.

They were able to draw the blood.

At one point she told me she was walking home.

In the Pediatric Waiting Room (again):

Her: “I’m hungry.”

Me: “I know, it shouldn’t be much longer.”

3rd Doc: “Is there a Lael here?”

Lael: “I’m not letting anyone else give me shots. I’m not going.”

Me: “You’re not getting any more shots.”

Lael: “I don’t believe you.”

Me to Doc: “Can you please ensure her that she will not be getting any shots or stuck with any needles.”

Doc: “No more shots, I promise.”

In the room with the 3rd doctor:

Doc: “I’m just going to rub this across your head to get your temperature.”

Lael: “Seriously?!”

In the Pediatric Waiting Room (3rd time):

Her: “I’m hungry.”

Me: “I know, it shouldn’t be much longer.”

Her: “Yeah, right.”

Finally the nurse came and got us and went over the patient procedures for Monday.

I took Lael to the cafeteria and got her a burger and apple pie.

I then took her to the store to get her a toy.

Best believe I ensured that they will be putting her ass to sleep BEFORE they put the IV in her arm on Monday.

Weekend Recap~Veteran’s Weekend

It was a nice long weekend. We had off Thursday for Veteran’s Day and my office gave us off Friday as well.

My hubby’s BFF came in town from Kentucky so I spent Wednesday night and Thursday scrubbing my house down.

I’m not really sure why since they spent the whole weekend in the “man-cave”.

Friday I went to breakfast with my boss and then had a doctors appointment. Afterwards I took a nap and spent the rest of the day lounging in my pj’s.

Because that was so much fun I did the same thing on Saturday.

I finally got to watch Avatar. That took me the whole night to watch. I don’t think I’ve ever paused a movie so much in my life.

Yesterday Kobi turned 6 months. (I’ll put up his 6 mth post tomorrow) I am happy and sad at the same time.

You guys have been there from the beginning. How is this possible?

We had D this weekend so me and the MIL took the kids to see Tops and Blue.

It was pretty cool.

The kids loved a Lady Gaga bit they did.

The car ride was pretty much horrible.

Kobi does NOT do well in the car.

I don’t know what it is. I feed him, change him, make sure he’s dressed properly but he screams.

Suggestions?

I spent last night indulging in my favorite shows. I tried to watch Palin’s new show on TLC because Marinka felt it was our duty as Americans.

I didn’t get past the first 15 minutes. I mean seriously. Who can sit that close to a bear and not shit themselves?

Happy Monday peeps!

Creepy Guy

I originally planned to write a post about how tired I am, but then realized no one cares.

Instead I’m going to tell you about a phone call I just got.

So in the Air Force we have to have an annual physical. It’s called a PHA (Physical Health Assessment).

You make an appointment and when you get there they make you fill out a bunch of forms. You give some blood to be used for standard tests and then they send you on your way until the next year.

I am due for my PHA.

I received and email saying that I qualified to take my PHA online.

I can only imagine that means that I’m healthy enough that I don’t actually have to go in to see a doctor.

So I proceed with logging on the website and filling out the questionnaire.

I asked if I drink regularly. If I have thoughts of suicide. If I eat healthy and exercise.

You know, the usual.

So I finish up and it says to send an email to a particular address when complete.

So I did.

I get an email back saying that I will be contacted by someone.

That was last month.

Then I get a phone call at my desk this morning.

I’m a little freaked out because there is this creepy guy on the other end asking for me.

When I say creepy I mean his voice sounded like he was a smoker, who had just rolled out of bed, robbed a bank, and was using me as his one call from jail.

I had already answered the phone with my last name so I can’t pretend it’s not me.

Apparently he was from the clinic and wanted to know if I had a few minutes to answer a few questions.

As much as I wanted to scream and throw the phone, I said yes.

The first thing he asked for was my social. Ugh.

I gave it to him. I mean shit, if he can get any type of credit by taking my social, I’d have a heart attack.

So then he asks me when the last time I had an HIV test.

Um? Not sure.

Most likely when I was pregnant and they took so much blood it makes you queasy.

But the thing that worried me is if he pulled up my file with my social, why couldn’t he see all of this information?

So he says that he put in a ticket for me to go to the Lab to have blood taken and that I need to fast for 12 hrs before.

Ok. I can do that.

He then schedules me for an appointment with my doctor.

On November 11th.

I’m not genius but isn’t that Veteran’s Day?

So let me get this straight.

I have a military clinic trying to schedule a military person for an appointment of an Federal Holdiay honoring military?

What’s wrong with this picture?

Needless to say, I pointed that out and he scheduled me for the 12th.

Creepy idiot.

Weekend Recap~Birthday/Halloween Edition

It’s Monday and I am exhausted. I got no rest this weekend. Big surprise.

I took off of work Thursday and Friday so I started my weekend early.

Thursday I got up and headed to Lael’s school. We went on a field trip to a local bookstore where a children’s book author came to read a few of his bat books to them.

After the trip we headed back to the school where Lael shared cupcakes with all her friends to celebrate her birthday.

Friday (Lael’s actual birthday) we got up early for a 7am dentist appointment. I know. I’m an AWESOME mother. Hey, she was out of school that day so I had to take advantage of it.

The original plan was for her to get sealants on her molars. However, after she gagged a few times while they were trying to get x-rays, they decided a cleaning and flouride would do it for the day.

Later that evening we headed to Lael's school for the Annual Halloween Ball. Oh the cute. I mean, come on. It was almost too much for me to handle. And you wouldn’t believe the squeals that I heard when the DJ played Justin Beiber’s “Baby”. Hilarious.

Saturday morning we got up early again and headed to Lael’s soccer game. Her games were usually at 10 but this one was at 9. I don’t know if it was because of the time change or the fact that it was only 40 degrees out but the kids sucked. I mean we kick ass in every game but they sucked bad.

Lael got a bloody lip in the first 10 mins and hit in the eye with the ball in the last 10. And the 20 in between were just horrible. The kids couldn’t wait for their turn to be benched so they could put their coats back on.

Right after the game we headed home to get ready for Lael’s costume bowling party. Fun. Fun. I’m so tired, but oh the Fun! The kids bowled, told scary stories, ate pizza and cake and I sent their cute little asses home.

Grandma took the girls with her after the party so me, hubby and Kobi went home and crashed.

Yesterday I woke up and ate leftover cake for breakfast. It was really that kind of weekend.

I headed out to the store with a friend to get some baby shower decorations. We spend most of our time driving around letting the GPS get us lost and then being stuck in traffic.

By the time we got home, there was just enough time to get Lael to Burger King, come home to eat it and get ready for Trick or Treating.

I got Kobi and her ready and we were out. It was freezing! Wind and all. After about an hour and a half we called it quits.

We were home by 7:30 and I had Lael in the bed with teeth brushed by 9. And then she was up crying about ghost at 9:30. And then she was up again at 10:30. And again at 11.

And here I sit at my computer at work. Just glad to be sitting.

Happy Monday!

Train Of Thought

Sometimes I get to a point where there is so much going on I sit and stare.

I can’t seem to focus on one thing at a  time.

I’ve been worried that Lael has ADD.  How do you know if your child is a child or if your child has a problem.

Her birthday is next Friday and so I have to plan her party.

Except I can’t get the people to RSVP.

Which is a problem because they won’t be able to just “show up” because they won’t be able to get on base.

In addition to that, my hubby thinks that sex is the answer to everything.

My response to that is eww.

The thought of sex grosses me out.

Obviously I have issues and should probably talk to someone about it but who has time to schedule an appointment?

Halloween is next week, which means Thanksgiving is around the corner which means Christmas is almost here which means omfg how is Christmas almost here.

And I need to buy a new tree.

And rob a bank to afford the shit the kids will probably want.

And shit, I need to buy Thanksgiving and Christmas outfits for the girls.  Shit. I forgot I have a baby so I have to get him an outfit too.

Did that bank get robbed yet?

Also, we have mice at work so I’m on edge.

I should not have to work under these conditions!

Also, I have not bought Lael anything for her birthday, you know, the one that’s next week.

Kobi is nursing fine but hasn’t been taking a bottle from hubby lately. I wonder if that’s a problem.

I have to take my PT test next month and haven’t started running yet.  This could pose a problem.

Some point between Thanksgiving and Christmas Lael will have her tonsils and adenoids taken out.

I need to go pump but I’m afraid I might see a mouse.

I can deal with a lot of shit, but that will break me.

Kinda like doing homework with Lael last night.  I almost lost it.

Like flying off the handle.

Maybe I’m the one with ADD…….

She's Tough But She's Still A Girl

Editor's Note: I wrote a rough draft of this post on paper with an actual pencil while pumping (shut it, y'all sometimes share TMI too). For some reason I decided to write in cursive and soon realized I can no longer actually write in cursive. As in I've forgotten how. I physically couldn't get my hand to do it. Is that what happens from spending so much time typing? Scary.

Last Wednesday I felt awful. While that is not what this story is about, it's info you should have to put yourself in my shoes.

As much as I didn't want to, I took Lael to soccer practice anyway (it was either that or stay back and cook dinner).

It was already in a bad mood because of the awfulness I felt and because my hubby acts like it would kill him to handle practice, the baby and dinner while I checked out for the night.

So anyway, I was full of pissiness when practice started. Lael decided to see how far over the edge she could push me by getting put in time-out with another girl. During practice. Yes, time-out.

I fussed at her that if she was going to spend practice in time-out we could just go home where it's much more comfortable.

She pulled herself together just in time for a little boy on her team to take her place. He was Out Of Control. This boy had never been a problem before and is one of the few coordinated kids on the team.

The first few times he "bumped" into Lael and knocked her down I let it go. But soon the other parents around me started making comments about how he was throwing himself into the others but focusing on Lael because she was the fastest with the ball.

I watched and gave the coach a chance to correct his behavior. He did nothing.

Then the boy began kicking so high he kicked the coach a few times and another boy got kicked on the arm. Yes, the arm. Still nothing was done.

The childs mom was walking the track so I flagged her down and told her what was going on.

She yelled for him to knock it off. He didn't listen.

He knocked Lael down again.

I said nothing.

Then at one point he Lael stole the ball from him and he took both hands and shoved her to the ground.

I may or may not have lost my fucking mind at that point.

I mean come the fuck on. How much of this was gonna happen? I'm all for being aggressive but play by the fucking rules kid.

I told him to cut that shit out and he did. But t
he continued to kick so high he made Lael fall and twist her arm.

I was so pissed I yanked her from practice early.

On the way off the field I spoke to his mom. I was polite but firm. She was equally pissed and was waiting for practice to be over before ripping him a new ass.

So Saturday they had a game. I spoke to the boy and both of his parents. I joked that he was upset Lael was faster than him but if he shoved her again she had my permisson to whoophis ass. We laughed but I was serious.

Our team won. Guess who calmed down and followed the rules?

Guess who scored the most?

Sick Days

I remember the days when I would get sick and could curl up in the bed for a few days and rotate between sleeping and watching daytime television.

That's how things were BC, you know Before Children.

I've been sick the past few days.   You know the kind of sick where you sneeze and snot flies across the room and when you swallow and it feels like you have just downed a shot of nails.

Yeah. That kind.

I've been sick before with things turning out all wrong.

Not only do I still have to take care of the kids but to add to the drama my hubby has gotten sick to.

I'll let that sink in.

He. Has. A. Man-Cold.

It's almost bad enough to make me want to go to work.

Almost.

So even though I have a fridge of pumped milk, I have had no relief.

I couldn't get him to take the baby long enough for me to even take a piss.

I woke him this morning and asked him to get Lael up for school.

He coughed, rolled over, and mumbled something.

To prevent myself from stabbing him in the fucking eyeballs, I got up with the baby and got her up myself.

I walked her to the bus and let the dogs out.

And when I went to let them back in one had a piece of shit stuck to their ass and it got on my floor.

I almost screamed. Instead I made them go back outside and walked my happy ass upstairs.

I am NOT picking it up.

As I type this my hubby is still snuggled in bed.

He can clean the shit when he decides to get up.

It's bad enough I practically have to share my birthday with him, but fuck!

Can I just be sick and watch Jersey Shore in the comfort of my bed?

Guess not.

Ok, I Got The Point

Kobi is being introduced to solids.

I started off with just rice cereal. He seemed to like it.

I then moved on to jar foods. First up was applesauce. He swallowed but he wasn’t feeling it too much. On a scale of 1-10 I would give it a 4 based upon his face.

I then moved on to sweet potatoes. That fell into the 6 or 7 range.

Next up was bananas, definitely an 8. Especially if I mix it with the rice cereal.

I then tried squash. Surprisingly it was a 7.

I then moved on to sweet peas. 10, 10, 10!. He would even grab my hand and try to feed himself peas.

So yesterday I decided to try another fruit.

Peaches.

Everyone likes peaches right?

He literally tried to lean out of the chair to get away from them.

I'm assuming he would prefer if I didn't give him that again.

I'm also assuming he would rate that a "what the hell were you thinking".

The Wig

Yesterday I took Lael shopping for her Halloween costume. I knew ahead of time that it was going to be torture, but in reality it was way worse than that.

We’ve had the Costume Express magazine for a few weeks now. We’ve looked through it numerous times as well as looking on the computer at different websites trying to figure out what she wanted to go as this year.
In the past (in chronlogical order) she’s been a Ladybug, Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, a cheerleader, and a Japanese Princess.

We’ve managed to stay away from anything “scary” but I’ve never pushed a particular costume on her.

I had a gut feeling that this year would be bad because it’s never taken this long for her to figure out what she wanted to be.

Initially she told me she wanted to be Hannah Montana.

I have many issues with this.

1. All the Pop Star costumes look a little slutty to me including Hannah's.
2. She would have to wear a blonde wig
3. Blonde wigs don’t go very well with little black girls especially mine (just sayin’)
4. Seriously?

So when she told me this, I did what any mother in my situation would do.

I told her they didn’t have it in her size.

I know. I’m going to hell.

So fast forward to yesterday. We were in this cool Halloween store filled with hundreds of costumes.

She walked past the butterflies, light up fairies, the princesses and the skeletons. Over and over we walked in circles around the store.

I started to sweat. I was slowly becoming frustrated.

Then she spots it.

The one:

Because obviously she wanted to channel her inner hooker.

After I threw up a little in my mouth, I talked her out of it.

As we made our way down the accessory isle, she spotted the Hannah Montana wig.

I can’t describe the squeal that came out of her mouth.

I can't describe the cry that came out of my mouth.

At that point costumes didn’t matter. All that mattered was The Wig.

At one point I actually threatened her that it would be The Wig or a costume not both.

Naturally she chose The Wig.

See how that came back to bite me in the ass?

Then the tears started. She didn’t care what costume she got as long as The Wig went with it.

That is how we ended up with this:

Can you imagine my brown skin baby, in a Vampire costume with a blonde Hannah Montana wig? 

I'll give you a moment to picture that.

Once I got home and she tried it on I was almost in tears myself.

I know it’s just a wig and I should get over it but do yall know me at all?

My hubby was able to convince Lael to keep The Wig for dress-up but not to wear with her costume.

Where was he when I was in the store having a damn near hostage negotiation with her?

Fuck The Wig and Hannah Montana.

Tummy Time Torture

I got a phone call at work yesterday from my husband.

He bitched about me not being at my desk when he had called earlier and asked what I was doing.

I bitched right back and explained that I don’t sit at my desk all day (I was probably at the snack bar) waiting for him to call, I was busy.

Well he interrupted my snide remarks with this.

“I just wanted to let you know your son crawled today, and you missed it, but if you’re too busy….”

This was followed by much silence.

I may or may not have cried a little…or a lot.

Once I pulled myself together I told him to give me every detail. What mat was he on? What was he wearing? Was his diaper full?

Ok, so maybe I didn’t ask him those questions, but still. Mah baby.

Naturally I went home for lunch and immediately flung put him on his belly.

He lifted up on his knees and then guess what he did?





He rolled over and laughed.

He was mocking me.

I can already tell he’s going to have his father’s sense of humor.

Anyway, we played that game a few more times before he got cranky and I picked him up.

I eventually had to go back to work and I spent the next few hours plotting ways I could get him to crawl for me.

Once I got home I got this video of him.








See that little smile. He knows what he’s doing to me.

Before I went to bed my husband came to talk to me.

I explained that I spend all night making Kobi suffer on his belly and all I got was a stinkin’ video.

He then looked at me and said, “I’ll let you know when he start’s crawling.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Oh, he didn’t really crawl, I was just fucking with you.”

He slept with both eyes open last night.

Things I’ve Learned This Week (And it’s only Wednesday)

In no particular order…..


-I will never get enough sleep. Ever.

-No matter how old they get, males will constantly forget to flush the toilet.

-In addition to flushing, they will also forget to put the seat down, I learned that the hard way.

-Apple Juice molds quickly in a thermos that been left at school for 5 days.

-The baby will trick me into believing he will only wake once at night and when I get used to that idea he will stab me in the back by waking up at 2, 4 and 5 this morning.

-Apparently I’m responsible for keeping up with all my things and knowing what Lael did with all her things as well. Also, I’m expected to be psychic.

-The only time I will have to myself is between 6 and 6:30am. I have learned that it is totally worth getting up early to savor these minutes.

-I haven’t done enough kegels (take that however you please).

-I have no friends (irl) to rescue me. I have 2 friends and they are in NJ and Germany. I am fucked.

-The baby is skilled enough to throw up and manage to get it IN my mouth.

-I am officially a soccer mom. You know the kind that threatens to beat her kid if she doesn’t kick the damn ball. She’ll score 3 goals which makes the sore throat totally worth it.

What things have you learned this week so far? I can’t be the only one.

Please tell me I’m not.

Cloning Myself's Always An Option

I’ve been totally out of it lately.

I thought I had got the swing of things once I started back to work.

I’ve spent the past 6 years being the parent of one kid and then for shits and giggles threw in another.

The thing is I’m not an organized person.

Seriously. It’s bad.

I thought I had my shit together, but then school started back up.

And then soccer started.

And gymnastics will start.

And I’m out of shape.

Note: I totally started P90X and then quit because, seriously, who has time to work out AND watch tv?

Here’s a rundown of my schedule:

6:15-6:20: Get out of the bed with the baby

6:30: Wake Lael up, give baby to hubby, shower

6:45: Take baby back from hubby (because he needs to snooze), get dressed, get Lael together

7:15: Send Lael off to the bus, nurse the baby

7:20: Leave for work (I walk)

7:30-11:30: Work (pump once)

1130-12:30- Walk home for lunch, nurse the baby, walk back to work

12:30-4:30: Work (pump once)

4:30-Walk back home

4:45-Nurse baby

5:00-Help with homework

5:30-6:30-Soccer on Mondays and Wednesdays

6:00-7:00-Finish homework if needed/Dinner

7:00-7:30-Nurse baby/

8:30- Get Lael into bed

After I get Lael in the bed I try to get dishes done, pack her lunch, wash bottles, blah blah blah.

I am in the bed by 10 and I’m exhausted. I need to clean, vacuum, do laundry.

In addition to that I need to start working out, I’m room parent for Lael’s class, and I need to start studying for Tech (my next rank).

I need tips on how to make things work. There doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day.

How do you guys stay organized and sane at the same time?

Back To School

Last night was Back To School night at Lael’s school.

So you know I absolutely couldn’t wait for all that fun.

Here are some important things I want to share with you, in bullet form. Because I can.

*When I arrived there was an envelope on every chair asking for money. $400 per child to be exact.

*Kobi has started solids. I fed him before we left. Naturally he spit up sweet potatoes all over me before it even began.

*Because I was lazy I grabbed a wrinkled shirt and threw a hoodie on over it. So of course it was a billion degrees in there but I was too embarrassed to take my hoodie off. So I suffered.

*We all cheered as they introduced all the teachers. Apparently you’re NOT supposed to “woot woot” when they call your child’s teachers name.

*When we met in our child’s classroom the teacher had to speak REALLY loud because someone brought their baby who decided he wanted to test his babbling skillz. It may or may not have been Kobi.

*Asking if your child is in the remedial reading group makes the teacher uncomfortable. (That one was another parent, not me.)

*We played a game called 2 truths and 1 lie. We had to take turns and guess what each person’s lie was. They didn’t believe I was 16. Go figure.

*Somehow I am Room Parent again. I only did it so I’ll have something to complain about on my blog. You’re welcome.

*Of course when I left it was pouring rain. I didn’t have an umbrella. Just my baby. His carseat. And a looong way to walk.

In other news, I got on the scale this morning and it thinks I've dropped almost 10lbs....I wonder if it was from sweating in that hoodie....

So there you have it. Now I’m off to make find a paper cup to stand on the corner collecting change with. How long you think it’ll take me to get to $400??

What I Say SHOULD Go

Being a parent can be hard. We all know this. Being a step-parent can be really hard.

There are always times when a child will try to play one parent against the other and more times when they try to play the grandparents against the parents.

But what am I supposed to do when the step-child plays the step-mom against the mother-in-law.

Pull my hair out is what I want to do.

Let me explain.

D is the first grandbaby. Naturally she will be the shining star. The fact that she isn’t here on a regular basis makes the spoiling that much worse.

She gets away with more than I see necessary from all parties involved.

But as she approaches 9 and Lael is learning habits from here I am becoming fed up with some of the behavior.

Quite often me and the kids will drive to the MIL’s house and stay the night. We’ll watch movies and order pizza and just enjoy each other’s company.

But mostly every time we are together at my MIL’s, D feels that she can do what she wants.

What doesn’t help is that my MIL doesn’t seem to notice that we are being played.

Case and Point:

I tell the girls to put on their pajamas and then they can play/watch a movie, etc.

I go upstairs and see Lael doing what I said but where is D? In her grandmothers room showing her how to brush her dolls hair.

I go in and tell her to do what I said. And do you know what happens next? Do ya?

My MIL tells me that she’s showing her something, turns around and tells her to finish what she was showing her.

What the fuck.

Another Case and Point:

My MIL bought white tank tops for the girls so they would have matching shirts for pictures. She bought 1 pack and since Lael needed new ones for the Fall I said that I would keep them so that I don’t have to buy any.

D’s mom never puts them on her so there would be no need for her to keep any. I made this point and D tried to argue with me that she does wear them. I shut her down and explained that in the almost 9 years that she’s been on earth her mother has NEVER send undershirts/tanks to go under her shirts.

I thought that was the end of it and told the kids to pack their bags and for Lael to put the shirts in her suitcase. Well a few minutes later they come down and my MIL says she gave D 2 and Lael 2.

I thought I had made myself clear. But apparently when they went upstairs D whined to my MIL about it and she gave her what she wanted.

It wasn’t about the shirts it was about not wanting Lael to have something that she didn’t have. I was pissed. So I went upstairs and put ALL of them in D's bag. I told Lael I would just buy her new ones.

Am I being sensitive because I thought it was kind of disrespectful. The last time I checked, I was the parent.

And being the parent, she should have done what I said first and then what she wanted to second.

Scenarios like this happened quite a few times between Sunday and Monday.

The thing is, I don’t have this problem with Lael. She knows better. It doesn’t matter what grandma or anyone else says. She’s gonna do what mom said first.

Is it D playing me? Is my MIL playing me?

I explained to hubby that is seems like whenever we are around her she forgets that I am the parent but more so with D not Lael. She hardly steps in when I’m correcting her.

I feel like because I am the step-mother I am not taken seriously and that she feels she has more of a say so than I do. Am I crazy?

What should I do?

Because I Saw A Picture of Myself

I had been hesitant about working out since having the baby.

The C-Section really kicked my butt and I didn't want to do too much too fast.

I mean I have been walking since about the second week but I mean really working out.

My husband has been...ahem...encouraging me. But I politely told him to suck it.

Well the other day I was finally uploading old pictures that had been stuck in my camera while my computer was down.

What I saw scared me.  Well one photo in particular.  I mean looking at it I know that Kobi was only 2 weeks old but still.

Pay no attention to my brother and dad the look good.  Look at the whale on the left.  I mean seriously.

I knew going into this pregnancy that I would be the heaviest I've ever been but I had NO IDEA.

I know I know.  You all think I'm crazy, I mean I know I just had him.  And I'm ok with that.  But now I will be going back to work soon and it's time to get off my ass.

Don't get me wrong, I have dropped about 20lbs the last 10 weeks but I would seriously like to drop 25 more. 

So here begins my weight loss journey...again. 

So how did you do it?  How did you loose your pregnancy weight.  Please share.

Guess Who Called Me?

If you guessed my mother finally broke down and called me you would be wrong.

My father did.

We didn't speak about my mom or why she has cut me and my brothers off.

He simply wanted to drop off an Easter basket. Not for both the girls but just for Lael. They barely acknowledge D.

He asked if Lael needed anything and we arranged for a time for him to come by.

At no point did he ask how I was doing.

I literally cried when I typed that sentence. He didn't care to even ask about me.

I am struggling friends. My head tells me to be strong but my heart is soft, therefore it's bruised easily.

And this too shall pass....I know this.

But damn I wish it would hurry already.

I Don't Think I'm Ready for THAT

Yesterday was beautiful.  I mean a thankgodwinterisgoingawayandspringiscoming type of beautiful.

As tired as I was from getting close to NO sleep the night before, I could resist taking Lael to the park to enjoy the warmth.

A bit after we got there the little girl that lives across the street fom us came to the park as well.

Originally the girl ran over to a group of boys and didn't see Lael. I nudged Lael to go over and say hello. (I try to get her out of the shyness)

Lael went to say hi and then the girl followed her back where they began to play together.

A few minutes later one of the little boys came up the the girl and said "So-and-so likes you."

I.Just.About.Died.

I mean this girl JUST turned 8 and is in the 2nd grade.  Lael wasn't in earshot so didn't hear what was going on but WTF!

Then the other boys ran over and they began giggling and whispering "You tell her" "No! You tell her" "You like her not me."

Again. Died.

The girl ran over to her mother (who was on their back patio and couldn't hear it) and told her.  I'm not sure what she said to her but the girl ignored the boys and continued to play with Lael.

After a few minutes her mom called her in.  I'm not sure if it was because the boys were lingering around or because the sun was going down. 

Either way, I am mortified FOR her.

Seriously.  Does this shit start in the 2nd grade?

I'm not prepared for this.  Am I going to have to talk to my 1st grader about what these boys mean.

When will she come home talking about a boy liking her?  And who will dig my grave because once again DIE is what I will do?

I don't remember having to deal with boys at least until the 4th or 5th grade. 

What have yall experienced?  Any advice?  Seriously. I'm too young to die.

When I take my girl to the park I only expect to deal with this:

Nothing else.

Signs You're At A Ghetto Birthday Party

I am proud to have a diverse group of friends.

I have some really ghetto friends and very classy friends.

For some reason I can adapt to either situation.

Saturday I went to a birthday party.  My friend, who happens to be my hairdresser as well, threw a party for her daughters who turned 6 and 8.  The exact ages of Lael and D.  Fun.

Except.  She is one of my ghetto friends.  I love her don't get me wrong.  But there are just "things" that happen at ghetto parties that don't happen at classier ones.

Some may be confused on how to determine if you are at a ghetto birthday party.  Let me help.

1. The invitation is sent by email on a word document with many spelling errors.

2. You get to the party (which was at grandmother's house) to help set up and the mother and children aren't there yet. 

3. While waiting for them to arrive about 10 guys are walking through the house because one of the family members decides they are moving out at the same time as the party.

4. The kids start arriving for the party that is scheduled at 3pm but nothing is ready because everyone is helping out with #3.

5.  The kids are sent to the backyard.  To play.  That's it.  Just play.

6.  The party finally starts at 5pm.  2hrs after it's supposed to.

7.  At one point there are 20 (yes, I counted) girls in the backyard and another 10-15 inside the house. 

8.  When it's time to order pizza, the mom thinks 9 medium pizza's are enough.  Ugh. No.

9.  When it's time to wash their hands you have to get up and help restore order because hello? #7 and because the bathroom sink is filled with bubbles.

10. The girls all get fed and once they are eating cake it's 6:45pm.

11. I decide to leave and the party is still going on.

12. I call the next day and find out that the party went on till about 8:30.

13. You also wake up the next morning with a cold, because no matter how many times you sanatized your hands, it was just to many of them.  Kids, not germs.  Well germs too.

Too much for me.  But the kids did have a blast.  That's all that counts right?

Reality

So many of you know that I work in the Pentagon.

I have been working in the building for 3 years but in and out of the building for 5 years.

If you didn't hear last night around 6:30 there was a shooting.

2 of our Pentagon Police was shot and in turn they shot the suspect.

This scares the living hell out of me.

It was right outside of the Metro entrance.  The entrance I take every.single.day.

It could've been anyone.  Me, my coworkers, anybody. 

Thank god the 2 officers were only grazed and they have been released from the hospital.

The suspect was not so lucky.  He was pronounced dead this morning.

This morning I was watching the news and Lael walks in.

"What, there was shooting at the Pentagon.  You can't go to work mom!"

I had to explain to her that everything was ok.  That nothing was going to happen to me.

But it's not really the truth.  Because we don't really know.  Anything could happen to any of us at any time.

Then she proceeds to ask me what if people shoot at our house.

I told her that I would protect her.

She says who will protect me.

I told her daddy would.

She says who will protect him.

I told her the dogs would and then I tickled her and tried to change the subject.

I worry but I don't want her little head to be worried too.

But it's reality.

The Things He'll Do To Make Me Laugh

During the Super Bowl we saw som ok commericials.  Some were funnier than others.

The one that got me the closest to peeing myself (which actually happens quite often now) was the Old Spice Commercial.

You haven't seen it? Go on.  Once again, I'll wait.

Is it just me?  Whatever, I have weird since of humor.

So you remember the iJoy I got right?  It kind of simulates a horse.

Now look what I came home to yesterday.

I actually DID pee myself.  I could not wait to blog about this.

Look at my hubby and all his sexiness......

I do believe he has too much time on his hands.