Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Because She Has The Rest Of Her Life To Dress Slutty

Lael has had her share of Halloween costumes. Being born on Oct 29th, she came home from the hospital on her very first Halloween.

At 1 she dressed up as the cutest Ladybug evah. At 2 she went as the one and only Cinderella. 3 was the year of Arielle the Mermaid. At 4 she chose to be Jasmine from Aladdin and last year was the year of the Cheerleader.

I am such a procrastinator. I always wait right before October is staring me in the face to realize she hasn't found her costume for the year.

The thing is I have been appalled by the costumes I have seen out there for the little girls. The toddler costumes are still as adorable as ever but my oh my what have we done with the innocent girl ensembles?

Here are some of the skankiest I've found so far.

The Mermaid: Complete with her shell covered boob and form fitting dress.

The Diva: Should my child really have that much stomach exposed?

The Pirate: I think this picture says it all.

The HOT Rocker:  She will wear nothing that has HOT in the description. Thankyouverymuch.

The Ladybug: I think some of the skirt is missing. And what the hell is up with that slutty choker?

Don't let me stop you from running out and grabbing any of the above costumes for your child.  To each it's own.  I'm just not ready for that yet.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Don't Expect Tomorrow To Be Any Different

Dear Co-Workers and Fellow Commuters,

I am not a morning person.  I can't remember a time when I was.

I have been know to be an Queen B first thing in the morning.  Don't talk to me, look at me or breath in my direction.

Please do not try small chat with me.  Did you not pay attention to the earphones plugged in my ears?

Please do not stand to close.  I don't want to smell  what you had for breakfast...or dinner last night.

Please do not give me your cheerful "Good Morning!" everyday when you know you will only get a grumble from me.

This is me.  This is how I've always been.  Please do not be surprised.

Please just let me be.

Talk to you around 10, m'kay?

With much gumpiness,


Monday, September 28, 2009

Timing Is Everything

Lael has been acting a little strange the past few weeks.  I don't know if it's a phase but it's starting to creep me out.

She has always been a very well behaved child.  Don't get me wrong.  She's had her share of meltdowns but overall I've had it pretty damn good.

Things have been slowly changing the last few weeks.  I've noticed it when we've been visiting with friends.  I've had to repeat myself often, she bit one of her friends, she's been talking back a bit and doing that breathing thing.  You know, the one where you tell them to do something and suddenly they get all huffy and shit? 


Could her timing be worse.  I have spent most days trying to avoid any type of strenuous work.  Discipling is one of them. 

Now at home I really haven't had this problem.  At home she's been pretty much normal but still it concerns me.

This brings us to this weekend.  My mom decided she wanted Lael for the weekend. Score!  She booked a hotel in the area so she could order room service and swim in the hotel pool.  I just knew the two of them would have a great time.

But it wasn't so great for my mom.  Apparently Lael showed her ass out.  My mom called and texted me numerous times over the weekend about Lael's rash behavior.

I spoke to Lael and she seemed so nonchalant about it.  At one point she even pretended that she could hear me over fake static. 


Does this kid know I have the ability to make her life a living hell.  I will unplug every computer, television and video game within her radius.  I can make bedtime whenever I good and well please.  I can make things really NOT FUN for her.

But is that the answer?  What is really going on?  I'm a little nervous.  With a new baby on the way I'm afraid that we made the wrong decison.

When she got home yesterday we went on a long walk and talked about the things that happened with her Nana.  She didn't really have a good reason for her behavior except that she was bored and wanted to play.  That's why she took my moms jewlery and tangled it up and tied in around her shoe strings.  She wanted to shower alone which is why she refused to wash up.  She couldn't reach her food which is why she stood up in  the chair at the resturant they went to.


We had a good talk.  I explained that she is a very good girl at home with me and daddy.  That she is a good girl at school but that she has to be a good girl WHEREVER she is and WHOEVER she is with.  I expressed how important it is for her to be a big girl for this new baby.  That she makes me look like a bad mommy when she doesn't do as she's told.

She looked me in the eyes and gave me a huge hug.  She told me that she I was the best mom ever.

Am I? I'm seriously questioning that right about now.

Friday, September 25, 2009

I'll Make It Up To You

Dear Lael,

I’m sorry sweetheart. Mommy has to work. I know this is your first field trip as a 1st grader but I can’t take off of work. I know it’s hard for you to understand this but this is part of being an adult.

When you cry like that it breaks my heart. I am trying my best to balance out life and work but sometimes work wins. Understand that YOU do come first. But in order for you to come first I have to work to provide for you.

I know it may seem like I’m the ONLY parent that’s not coming but I assure you I’m not. I will make it up to you sweetheart.

Please dry your eyes. Mommy loves you and I will be thinking of you all day. Have a great day and pick the shiniest apple in the orchard just for me, mkay?



Thursday, September 24, 2009

Speaking In Steps

Homework is finally starting to pick up for Lael. The first 2 weeks she had the traditional “Circle The Shape That Doesn’t Belong” or “Practice Writing The Letter ‘R’” or “Patters: What Shape Comes Next?”. Stupid stuff. Stuff she was doing in Pre-K a couple of years ago.

It was all a trick. They wanted us to think that she would have homework that took her 2.5 seconds to do and I wouldn't have a repeat of last year. This week they have stepped the game up a bit.

It started last week with a picture of an eyeball. And arrows that pointed to different parts. And words like “lashes”, “cornea”, and “retina”. She had to label the different parts of an eye.


How did she go from practicing writing letters to being able to tell me “Mom, your cornea looks a little red today”? Really? Thanks honey.

This week they are studying apples. Wednesday they had to bring in an apple for an apple graph, today she had to take in apple sauce, tomorrow she has to wear clothes that are the color of apples and are going on a field trip to an orchard to….You guessed it. Pick Apples!

Yesterday her homework was to name the parts of an apple. “Stem”, “core”, “seeds”, etc. I am very impressed. But now on top of that she had 10 spelling words that she had to write 2x and know how to spell them.

Things are definitely picking up for her. In her school she is learning Chinese, learning how to read music, getting Ballet Lesson from the Washington Ballet Studio and more.

My only problem is that I think they are starting to brainwash them a bit. When I get home this is what I get.

“Mom I have 3 steps to tell you. Step 1, I ate all my lunch. Step 2, I have homework but it’s easy today. Step 3, can I ride my bike later?”

I have no problem with any of the above steps. What puzzles me is WHY THE HELL IS MY CHILD SPEAKING IN STEPS???

I’m a little afraid. Better keep my "lens" on this one.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Almost 6 Years Later

Jan 2003

I was 21 years old. I had been in the Air Force for 3 ½ years. I had been with my 27 year old boyfriend for 2 ½ years. We loved each other.

We had been through so much together in such a short amount of time. He decided to propose. Well the best way he knew how.

Hiding a ring in the linen closet when I hate doing laundry and NEVER put it away wasn’t the brightest idea. But I found it. We celebrated. We were just beginning our lives together.

Feb 2003

Still 21. No period. No big deal. Sometimes I was late because I exercised so much. Few weeks later still no period. Doctors decided to draw blood just to be sure. I had been on birth control for almost 4 years straight.

Hanging with a neighbor my cell phone rang. Congratulations……is all I heard. I hung up on them. Dear lord please be joking. I cannot be pregnant. I can barely take care of myself.

Too bad. When you pretend to be an adult, adult situations get thrown upon you. Fiance’ is excited. He is already a father to 1 so he’s happy to be a father to OUR child.

The next day. I head down the road to mom’s house. I am nervous. I’m not sure how they will take it. My dad comments about me gaining weight and jokes that I’m pregnant. I don’t laugh back. They stop and stare at me. The yelling begins. The tears fall. I feel ashamed and dirty.

Options are thrown at me. Abortion. Adoption. I will take none. I brought this baby into this situation and will deal with it the right way.

Oct 03

22 days after my 22nd birthday she is born. Everyone’s opinions vanish. This little girl has commanded all the attention. She has brought peace to a stressful and ugly situation.

For almost 6 years she has been the light of everyone’s life. God brought her into our lives for reasons we will never quite grasp.

Sep 09

I am pregnant again. I call mom. She almost runs the car off the road in excitement. Mother-in-law is already planning a baby shower. Husband is wishing it were a boy.

No shame. No yelling. Tears of course, but ALL happy tears.

I will bring another life into this world. I am ready this time. I am prepared.

Bring. It. On.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I know I've been AWOL for a while but there really has been a lot going on.

Last week when my friend came to visit from Florida but it wasn't a "let's have fun and giggle" type of visit but more of a "my ex husband lost his damn mind and all I got was a day in court" type of visit.

I took off to go to court with her last Wednesday. I knew she had court all along but thought is was her ex taking her to court for the 4th Year In A Row, to get his child support lowered.

I didn't find out until we were in the car on the way to court the REAL reason he dragged her all the way up here to DC.

Ok. I need you to sit down for this one.

He decided that he didn't want to pay child support anymore. But not in the traditional "I'm going to be a deadbeat dad and just not pay" kind of way.

No, no. This fucker got creative. He decided that he would request to have his name REMOVED from his CHILDS birth certificate so that he would no longer have rights to her nor have to pay to help SUPPORT his child.

I can't even explain how sick this made me feel for a number of reasons. One of the main reasons is the memories that flooded back to me.

Finding out that my stepfather wanted to adopt me when I was 14. I hadn't seen my biological father in YEARS but never thought that he would sign his rights over to another man. Oh, he did. Quickly. I think he over nighted the papers. Bastard.

But this case was different. While my friend has recently re-married and has another baby on the way, there was no REQUEST for him to give up his rights. He asked for it!

What makes things worse was when we were in the courthouse waiting area he had the NERVE to ask where she was and demand to see her. I mean immediately after walking out of the judges chambers.

How do you do that. In one breath ask to be erased from a child's life and in the next ask to see her.

I am baffled. I am also grateful. Grateful to my father. Grateful to my husband who has been the best father to both of his girls and who will be a great father to our soon-to-be new baby.

Oh yeah, I did tell yall I was pregnant right? Couldn't end this post on a sour note. :o)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A Whole Lot Goin' On

I know I've been absent around these parts since Friday.

I have had a lot going on. I know yall are dying to know right? No? I'm telling you anyway. You know because of that "it's my blog and I can do what I want" thing. Ahem.

So, Friday I went to a BBQ at my friend's son's school. Yeah, Lael doesn't go to his school but who passes up free pulled pork sandwiches. Yeah. I thought you'd understand.

Saturday, me and my friend Carlota and the kids got up and headed out to a Navy Rec Place that has picnic areas, a pool, Putt Putt Golf and a beach. The kids played around on the beach while me and Carlota tried to dodge the wind. It was a fun day but man was it windy.

We then headed back to DC where we had a sleepover and got pretty much NO SLEEP. Fun though!

Sunday, I cleaned house and relaxed. Later Sunday night I realized that I had miscalculated my period. Since I've taken out my IUD my periods have been 25 days apart. Sunday night made 29 days since my last period.

I took a home test and it came up with one bright line and one very dim line. Totally positive right?! I wasn't sure, so I did what every girl would do. Throw on a sweatshirt and walk to my friends house for a second opinon.

She totally agreed that it was positive! But, I still decided not to tell hubby until I confirmed it. I decided I would get a blood test from the military the next day.

So, yesterday I made an appointment at the clinic and the doctor sets it all up. I go into the lab and start to roll my sleeve up when they hand me urine cup. Are you F-ing kidding me! I need a blood test people!! So, I gave them the goods and then of couse they don't call me back within the 2 hrs that was promised. I call them and guess what....

They said it was negative. Really? So I have one positive test. One negative test. It's been 31 days since my last period and my boobs are killing me. I don't know what to do now but wait.

Later last night my brother, you know, The Marine, came into town. He ended up getting some leave that he thought he wouldn't and will be with me for 10 days before he heads off to war.

Before he got in me, Carlota, and another friend went out to The Melting Pot and totally seduced the waiter. We had such a blast. Many drinks (mostly free due to our hott flirty efforts), cheese and lots of chocolate we ended the night. It was the most fun I've had in a while. Thanks girls! Love yall!

As you read this I have ANOTHER friend that is on a plane coming from Florida to stay with me for a few days and TONIGHT I have Lael's Back-To-School Night.

So, now you see why I have not commented and been posting. Just having too much damn fun over here.

There has totally been a WHOLE LOT GOIN' ON!

Friday, September 11, 2009

May We Never Forget

Every year this day creeps up on me. I know it's September. I am concious of it but then it's here.

I still remember where I was when it happened.

I still remember the panic that took place in our nation's capital.

I still remember seeing the smoke from the Pentagon from MILES away.

I still remember.....

Here is my post from last year on this very day.


9/11 Pentagon Memorial

Where do I even thing I can say is that my eyes are still burning from all the tears.

I was blessed today to be able to attend the Pentagon 9/11 Memorial Dedication Ceremony.

I have been stationed out of the Pentagon for 3 years and was privileged to receive a ticket to witness first hand the unveiling of the Pentagon 9/11 Memorial.
My day started at 5a.m. I got dressed in my BDU's and hopped a ride to the Metro. The mood was a solemn one.

It was still dark as I caught rode the Metro to the Pentagon Entrance. Once arriving there I was awestruck by the amount of people, both military and civilian that were already lining up at 6 a.m. to witness this once in a lifetime event.

I couldn't believe I was going to be taking part in history.

My tribute to the victims really started Saturday when me and my girlfriend participated in the 4th Annual Freedom Walk that started at the Women's Memorial at Arlington Cemetery and ended after a 1-Mile walk to the Pentagon South Parking.

Every year at this time I get sad just thinking that you never know when you or your loved ones lives will be snatched.

Being military makes me that much more tearful because I know that I am doing good for my country and keeping my daughter safe.

Enjoy the pictures....and NEVER FORGET!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Hope I've Done Her Proud

My recent decision to try for another child brought up a question among one of my friends last week.

How did I come up with Lael's name?

Not most of you know this but both my mom and dad are police. When I was younger my mom used to take me on ride alongs.

I got to see really cool things. Riding the streets in the front seat of a police car can be very exciting for a 10 yr old.

Because I was riding along there were a limit of "runs" my mom was allowed to take.

One of the calls she got one day was about a set of sisters having a loud argument.

I remember my mom asking if I felt comfortable enough for her to take the run.

Of course! I wanted to see some action. She left me in the car so that she could confirm it was safe.

She came back down and told me it was ok to come with her into the apartment.

Inside was a set of Arabic sisters. I remember how beautiful they were. Olive colored skin, dark brown eyes, and jet black hair.

While my mom took their statements I wandered around and found a little girl sitting on a blanket playing with toys.

She was equally as gorgeous as the sisters.

I sat down on the blanket and played with the little girl. I immediately fell in love with her.

She had a smile that could light up a room and a laugh that would tickle your bones.

We managed to have a great time even though she didn't understand English.

The sisters had resolved their issue and it was time to leave. My mom had to force me.

Weeks went by and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I begged my mom to let me ride with her so we could go play.

Over and over she refused.

Finally, one day she gave in.

We went to visit and I ended up spending most of the day with them instead of keeping my mom company.

This went on for a few months. Overall I had visited 6 or 7 times.

I don't remember why exactly, but a few more months went by without me being able to see my little friend.

When I finally made it back there I immediately knew something was wrong. She wasn't there.

In all my visits we sat on the blanket and played. The blanket was no longer there.........

My friend had passed away.

Apparently she had been born sick.

I never knew exactly what was wrong but the reason she was always on a blanket was because she couldn't walk.

The argument that had occurred months before between the sisters was about her health.

I was devastated.

I cried. I screamed. I didn't understand how God could take a way a little child.

I clung to the sisters for what seemed like an eternity.

I never found out which one was her mother but I looked at both of them and swore that one day I would grow up.

I would get married.

I would have children.

I knew way back then that my first child would be a girl and I told them that no matter what, I would name my first daughter after her.


That was her name.

When me and my husband found out we were having a girl, I cried, but not for all the reasons he thought.

Every time someone asks about Lael's name I smile a little.

I lost touch with the sister's. I don't even remember their names.

I wish I could find them to let them know I kept my promise.

I have a feeling either way they knew I would.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My Marine

My earliest memory has you in it.

There is so much we have been though.

We have been the best of friends and the worst of enemies.

No matter how long the gap, we always pick up where we left off.

You have always felt protective of me even though I'm 4yrs older than you.

We fed off of each other's strength as we watched our father walk away from us forever.

We held hands through our adoption process.

You were there when I decided to serve my country and entered the US Air Force.

You were there when I gave birth to your niece and have been her favorite uncle.

You have always been my #1 fan. Supporting all my decisions when everyone else frowned.

I could never have gone through the tough times in my life without you.

I have been lost with you being across the country and yet I have another challenge to face.

In a few weeks you will leave the country. You have joined me in fighting this war.

You joined the US Marines and now you have to pay your dues.

My heart aches because I have been there and would go again if I could take your place.

A piece of me will be missing. I will hold my breath just a little until you return.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I Promise

Dear Lael,

I promise to teach you to be the best person you can be.

I promise to never put you in a situation that you are too young to deal with.

I promise that I will always offer a shoulder for you to cry on.

I promise that I will do what I can to prevent as many tears as possible.

I promise that you will lose some friends in life but gain the ones that really count.

I promise that I will raise you to be a strong, confident, smart woman.

I promise that you will have bad experiences but the good ones will outweigh them.

I promise that I will always correct you and tell you when you are wrong.

I promise I will always be honest with you, no matter how much it may hurt.

I promise that I will teach you how to forgive and accept apologies.

I promise that I will teach you how to ASK for forgiveness and give apologies.

I promise you that soon you will forget what happened to you today....

But I will not and I PROMISE it won't happen again.

With more love than you will ever know,


Friday, September 4, 2009

I Had A Bad Day, Just Ask Twitter

Yesterday was a particular crappy day.

I didn't sleep well the day before. I woke up extra tired and dragged on.

I was grumpy and everyone who could indeed pissed me off.

I didn't seem to get any single task done but instead managed to start a bunch more.

Even a co-worker chomping on carrots made me want to shove them down her throat.

My phone wouldn't stop ringing. I had do random push-ups in the middle of eating lunch.

I managed to hit my head and even managed to cut the back of my hand.

You see? Crappy.

I had to stay at work late to fix mistakes of a NOTSOSMART co-worker.

Missed my train. Caught the next one but got literally sat on.

Finally got home and had to run to the grocery store. Decided to self check-out and then the machine broke RIGHT before it could dispense (ignore "yo" I meant "my") my $13.86.

Lael decided that tonight of all nights she would act a damn fool when it was time to do her homework.

I had just about had ENOUGH.

She begs me to take a bath but I tell her she won't have time because it was only 40 mins before bedtime.

She looks at me with the most serious face and says.

"Mom, I will be in the bath and as soon as you say Dear, it's time to get out. I will get out and NOT even give you an attitude."

Verywellthen. It's just what I needed to hear to give me a great laugh.

And she stuck by her word. In and out without a fuss.

Thanks baby. You turned my crappy day upside down!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Titles Are Overrated

A few things on my mind:

Did yall hear about the man who slapped the 2yr old 5 TIMES across the face at a Wal-Mart in GA? Really? I want to know how he got close enough to hit her and how he managed to get more than 1 slap in. I mean SERIOUSLY he is 61. I respect my elders but I would have whipped his ass if he put his hands on my child. Your thoughts?

Speaking of children. The Duggars. Need I say more. 42 and pregnant with her 19th child. I am very supportive of "big" families but is there a point where it becomes a bit out of hand? What do yall think? How is her body even able to hold up? Am I being judgemental?

I feel all high techy and everything because I am currently typing this on my brand new Toshiba Mini Notebook. Hello. My name is Keyona and I am hot shit. Thankyouverymuch. I originally ordered a DELL Mini but they were back ordered with no estimated shipment date. I cancelled my order the 4th of Aug and just got my money back 2 days ago. After trying to buy one from 2 other stores I decided to go the Toshiba route. It's very little and my fat ass fingers keep wandering but I'll get the hang of it.

I have been nauseous almost everyday since this past weekend. I am trying not to get my hopes up thinking that I may be pregnant but if not then why have I been feeling this way? Please send me happy hope you are with child thoughts. Thanks yall are great.

Hey, I want to do a giveaway on my blog but I need some awesome person who has awesome products to sponsor me so if you know someone who knows someone who knows someone that want to showcase their product please let me know!

And last but not least (I know I'm rambling) I submitted my Bedtime Battles post to Mamapedia and they liked it! They liked it so much that they will be featuring it on Sept. 19 on their website. I would love for you guys to check it out but I'll remind you when the date gets closer.

Whew! That was sure a brain full! :o)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Because It's Kinda Your J-O-B

Dear Winch #1,

The other lines were backed up.

There was no one in your line when you saw me and my family approach you.

Yet you continued to carry on your conversation with Winch #2.

I don't CARE about your IV. I don't CARE about ANY of your medical issues.

I do feel bad if you ARE sick, and in that case take your H1N1 ass home because it's for the best.

If not I have a suggestion.

Turn around. Greet me with a smile. Ask me how I'm doing. Take my items and ring them up.

Do NOT tell me that you can only take me if I have 5 items or less.

I have kinda been shopping there for 10+ years and KNOW that is total bullshit.

And when my husband decides to purchase tobacco from your counter so that you HAVE to ring up our items, do not once AGAIN ask me how many items I have, proceed to sigh, and then tell me you'll ring me up like you're doing me a FAVOR!

And what I really don't want you to do is then to ring up 1 item and then tell me that you don't know the sales prices or codes.

You are kinda working in the CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT where people would go if their items WEREN'T ringing up with the SALE price.

It will piss me off. But I won't say anything because I'm a lady.

But you better bet your Winchy ass that I got your name and Winch #2's and your supervisor has been notified.

You forget we are ALL working for the military.

Don't you know who I work for?

Guess not.

Bet you'll find out in the morning.

With much bitchiness and the power to GET YOUR ASS FIRED,

SSgt Pissed-Off

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


She hears a song and likes it.

For days she walks around singing it.

In the car, in the tub, on the toilet.

Her mom can't quite figure out where it's from or the name of it.

Who could it be that sings it?

Where in the world can I find it?

But then her mom finds it.

And when she gets home from school her mom has it ready.

With the push of a button, the music blasts through the speakers.

She comes around the corner running at full speed and jumps into her moms arms.

She grabs her mom by the hands and asks her to dance.

Something as simple as finding her new favorite song and making her a CD was enough to make her smile the whole night.

It felt like...magic....ya know?