Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Christmas With A Blended Family


It's a wonderful time of year.  It's actually my favorite time of year.  It's sad that people are usually only nice during these next few months and not so much the rest of the year.

That being said, as excited as I am to have this season upon us I am also stressed.

The stress comes from being a part of a blended family.

I love D with all my heart.  I love being a step-mom.  But during the holiday's it's a challeging time.

Some may know but right now my hubby still stays at home so there is only my income.  We have adjusted our lifestyles to this but not everyone keeps that in mind.

We get D every other holiday.  Last year we had her for Thanksgiving and for her birthday (Dec 31st).

This year we get her for Christmas.

I know I should be excited about this, and believe me I am.  But some anxiety comes with that as well.

The thing is.  She gets 2 Christmases and Lael gets 1.

What I mean by this, is that I have to find a way to not let Lael's plethera of gifts trump D's few items.

How do I do this?

It has been a challenge EVERY other year.

We pay child support and her mother has spend about 2-3 hundred on her but we are expected to spend the same.

I don't agree.

I don't agree that she should get 2 full Christmases.  I can not afford to spend 3 hundred on each of the girls.  I think it's ridiculous.

A few weeks ago I had D's mom send me her Christmas list.  There were some pretty pricey items on there.

For her 6th birthday hubby bought her a Nintendo DS.  I thought it was a big gift for a little girl but he got it anyway.

She took pretty good care of it for a while untill she left it in her bike at her moms and some girl took it when she wasn't home and dropped it.  Since then it won't work unless it is plugged up.

So guess what my husband does?

He tells her he will buy her a new one.  But not a regular DS but a DSi the ones that cost about $170.

For fucking real? That was my first thought.

Then when I spoke with her mom about other gifts she mentioned a Barbie Townhouse.  Guess how much that is?


Not gonna happen. 

I explained that it was impossible for me to afford that.  While she is only spending on D we have to spend for both girls. 

Somethings gotta give.

It's not that she doesn't understand it's getting D to understand.

She doesn't understand child support and that we can't send her mom $500 a month and also spend 3 on her for Christmas and still be able to provide for our other child.

All she will see is her 3 or 4 gift and Lael's 10-15 gifts.  Numbers matter not price.

Lael now saw the DSi on TV and asked for it.  How do you think she gonna feel when her sister get the new one with a camera built in and she still has her old crusty one?


What to do.  Get them both DSi's and then a few cheap gifts?

Sell my blood for Christmas money?

I would pimp myself out but something tells me my fat belly would repulse some.

I love Christmas time but making everyone happy can make it suck sometimes.


  1. Wow, $300 on a single gift for a 6/7-year old? Um, I find that a bit OTT.

  2. I FEEL YA.

    And because you want to be just like me, you posted about this before I could.

    My challenge? I have 2 stepkids that don't celebrate Christmas and a daughter that does. And she normally experiences extreme overload from my parents, sisters, friends and us.

    And my daughter is getting a DSi for Christmas too - except my Dad is buying that! phew.

  3. That is so hard. I don't have your exact issue, but some of my family members spend WAY more than we can afford. I don't try to keep up. $300 is crazy!!

  4. That is a tough one. I sure hope someone has some ideas for you and it all works out. Both the girls are too young to really understand it all and you don't want hurt feelings on Christmas. Much luck.

  5. I feel your pain! We have this same situation Nintendo DSi and all in our household!

  6. Oh my...

    that is a freaking tough situation. Maybe you are right? Get them similar or the same thing gift and then get them other cheap gifts? I think that would be the best thing to do so no one would get hurt.

  7. We have the same issue here. It's major suckage.

    In your situation, I'd buy the girls identical PS's and hardly anything else. We are scaling way back this year and you know what? They need to understand that a lot of kids are getting zippo for Christmas this year.

    I made my kids pick two toys to give to the Salvation Army this year, just to bring that point home.

    There's just only so much you can take, you know?

  8. Oh this must be hard. I wish I had some sage advice, but I don't know what I would do either. Kids need to learn that Christmas isn't all about gifts, and it must be so hard to find a way to teach that when you have to work through all of this. I'm sorry, lady.

  9. Ugh! I know that dilemma all too well. When my two older ones were closer in age, everything had to be equal when it came to gift-giving. But now thst my oldest is 17, and the age gap between her and her 12 y/o brother is now more obvious, she understands that she is not going to get the same number of gifts as he is because, now that she's older, her gift requests have become more pricey. But how do you get that across with a 6 y/o? As you said, price doesn't matter, QUANTITY does. And that holds true for MOST kids. why not get her 1 thing on her list, and then get her a matching, or close to matching number of INEXPENSIVE gifts, so she will feel she's opening as many gifts as Lael? You'd be surprised at what you can find for under $10.Just a thought.


Those laughing with me...or at me.