There is this little girl. Let's call her The Girl. The girl just recently turned 7 and gets right under my skin. I like to think of myself as a good person, a good person that loves children. However, this child is an exception. I don't completely blame the child for the way she is. At such a young age her parents can be the only one's to put the blame on.
From the moment this child stepped into our lives she has been nothing but trouble. She lies, she picks fights (especially with my baby) and has the smartest mouth ever.
When I had D's slumber party she made 3 of the girls cry and I had to pull Lael off of her because my girl don't take shit from anyone. I had to speak to her numerous times about the right way to talk to people because she would get in the girls faces and yell at them. I even had one girl cry to me that she wanted to go home because The Girl was being so mean to her.
Oh how it angered me. To make things worse, the past few months hubby has been getting The Girl off of the bus with Lael and she spends an hour or so at my house before her dad comes to get her. She does the dumbest things while she's at my house an when I question her about it she lies to my face. I mean she looks at me, and blames my child when I saw what she did.
I don't know how much of this child I can take. I know the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree because her mother doesn't really have it all together. I think more than anything I'm sad. I'm sad because this child is the result of bad parenting. Horrible, horrible parenting. What am I to do? How do I help mold this child into a better person? Is she a lost cause? Should I stop allowing her to come to my house? What would yall do?
I know exactly how you feel. Those kids are so hard to deal with, and yes, the ones in my life are completely products of their parents. It's sad, really.
ReplyDeleteIf it gets worse,(or doesn't get better) I'd consider talking to the parents about having her go somewhere else after school. It's hard to discipline kids that aren't your own, but in this case, I'd do it, although it sounds like you are at least talking to her about her behavior. Let her know that you expect her to act a certain way in your home and give her a clear consequence for deviating from it. And emphasize that lying is the BIGGEST no-no of all.
Good luck.
What a tough call to make. I am lucky right now that my boys are so young this isn't a concern but I dread the day they start bringing home freinds from school.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some great advice for you...but I can't even imagine what I would do.
good luck!!!
ohhh, see I am the one who would be banning her from my house. I say that now but since my kids are not "there" age wise I dont know what I would do. But a few summers ago I had a hard time controlling myself around a little boy who pushed my son down just for fun at a play date. I wanted to shove HIS ass down.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I'm right with Lara. I would sit her down and set guidelines for her while she is at your house. Yes, hubs is helping a buddy but in any place of business or other peoples homes we are to respect their things and them. Simple. If she does not follow then poor Dad is gonna have to send her to the other sitters house. You are tough, you can figure it out. Isn't that what you tell me all the time. Love ya, Chica!!
ReplyDeleteWow. That's a loaded situation. How does your husband feel? Will a decision like this strain your marriage?
ReplyDeleteI think setting down clear boundaries with consequences is important, but only if you can really follow through because she will definitely test them. And can you really discipline someone else's child? (Not you personally, especially since we don't know each other, but in general.)
I can only imagine how hard this decision is. You obviously have a heart for this girl, but your fear that she's influencing your children is a valid one also.
Either way, you're a better mom than I. I actually pushed a one-year-old away from my daughter when he tried to knock her over. Okay, in reality I diverted him, but in my head I pushed him down on his diapered butt. (Which is pretty much just as bad.)
I would lose my spot in heaven too if banning her from my house is the wrong answer, kids hear and see things that they should not that we have no control over. You have control over this and in my opinion it is not your mess to fix. Best of luck though!
ReplyDeleteIt makes me sad, too. And as a parent, I would feel horrible if my child acted this way. Try to think of her as the innocent child she is - she behaves this way for SOME reason. Maybe you are doing her a world of good just by letting her come into your home and seeing how people SHOULD act towards one another.
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