I Didn't Get The Damn Memo

So I guess yesterday was National Delurker Day!  Thanks for the damn memo guys.

So as usual I do things when I'm good and ready.

All you folks that come by and read need to come out of hiding.  (Yes I'm talking to you Charlotte NC, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, Lynnwood, Washington, and Aurora, Colorado).

Let me know who you are.  What you do.  How long you've been blogging.

Ideas to make my blog better (as if it could get any better).

How about a contest:

Give me some good baby names for my little boy.  The best name will win!  What will you win you may ask?

Knowing the fact that I may name my little boy after a name you suggested.  That's present enough right? No?

Well can I get some help anyway?

I would prefer a name that starts with an L or K.  Nothing popular.  Since Lael's name is so unique I have to keep it up.  So join in on the fun.

Please?

I promise to come and pay your blog a visit in return.

OK, I think I've made a fool of myself now.  Come back now yall hear?

She'll Keep Your Secret...At Least Until You Get Sent Home

Everyday ask Lael about how her day went. Her stories are usually typical 1st grade girly stories. Such and such was mean. Such and such isn’t my friend. Such and such is my friend again! But I ask because you never know what she may tell me.

I also ask because I need to know if she got a star that day and because we had an agreement that she would participate in all discussions once a day and so every day she has to tell me what question she answered.

So yesterday I asked Lael how her day went. Here’s how the conversation went:

“Suzie peed on herself.”

“Wow, that’s sad. What happened?”

“Well, we both had to go pee really bad but I had to go badder so she let me go first. One of the toilet’s wasn’t working so there was only one to use. I finished really fast and let Suzie go but then she said “uh oh” because she had peed on herself when she was trying to get her pants down.”

“Aw…I’m sorry to hear that, what happened next.”

“Well there was no more toilet paper so Suzie asked me to get her some. Since the other toilet door was locked I had to crawl under the door to get her some toilet paper.”

“Wow! That was very nice of you.”

“Yeah. It was. So then Suzie was too sad to come out of the bathroom.”

“ I bet, so what did you do?”

“Welll I went into our class and told the teacher ‘Um..Ms. Taylor, Suzie needs to see you. She in the bathroom but I can’t say why.”

“Oh, well that was so mature of you to not say out loud what had happened. So then what?”

“Ms Taylor went and took Suzie to the nurse and then her Dad came to pick her up so she could have clean clothes.”

“Well that’s good. Did she come back to school?”

“No she just stayed home for the rest of the day.”

“Well that’s great that you were able to help your friend and keep her secret, I’m sure she was a little embarrassed.”

“Yeah, I only told Sara and Kelly.”

“What? Why did you tell them. You wouldn’t want anyone to tell if it was you that had an accident.”

“Well they are our best friends, she they were gonna find out anyway, besides Ms Taylor is the one who told the other girls that aren’t even our best friends.”

Very well then.

Out Of The Picture Vault

Throwback pictures make me smile....almost cry.

Happy Hump Wednesday!

Letting Go

I don't know if I've explained me and my mother's "unique" relationship.

We go up and down. Round and round.  I love her. Don't get me wrong but our relationship is not a normal one.

She didn't support me getting married, screamed when she found out I was goint to be a stepmom, freaked when she found out I was pregnant and has been comparing me to my cousins who went to college instead of going in the military like I did.

She actually didn't show up to the courthouse when we got married.  "That wasn't a wedding" are her words when it's brought up.

We fought when I got pregnant with Lael and she tried to talk me into having an abortion.

I refused.

She has adored Lael since she was born but that turned into her treating her like it was her child instead of her grandchild.

We've had many battles.

I've dealt with it because my mom had a hard life.

Not many are aware of this.  My husband doesn't hate her but I would say STRONGLY dislikes her.

I understand his feelings but yet I will never let her out of my life, she's my mom.

My mom was abused by her mother, raped by her mom's boyfriends, got pregnant at 18, moved out with her drug addict boyfriend, left him for my dad and got married.

My biological father was in the Army at the time.  She had me and we lived around the world.  I watched her get beat and took a few beatings myself.

I could go on and on. 

She eventually packed her things and left him.

We moved back to DC where we (her, me and my 2 brothers) shared a 1 bedroom apartment in the poorest neigborhood she could afford.

I helped her study to become a police officer and thats what she's been for the past 20 somthing years.

The thing is I know how good she can be but I've also seen the bad side of her.

I've been beat by her.  Called a bitch. Kicked and verbally abused.

But I deal with it.

My point is, I didn't make it to her house for Christmas this year.  It wasn't because I didn't want to go but I was feeling sick.

I tried to call later and come but no answer.

She called New Year's Eve around 3. I was sleep and called her back around 6. 

She didn't answer.  She never called me back.  I didn't expect her to.

I tried to call her to let her know I'm having a baby boy.  She didn't answer.

I texted her.  She texted me back: "K."

What kinda fucking response is that?

The kind I expect from her when she is angry with me.

But what's different this year is that I'm letting go.

She will eventually come around but I will not longer let her hurt me.

I will no longer let it determine my actions.

It has taken me this long to realize that she is never going to change but I can so my friends....

I'm letting go.

They Usually Gross Me Out.....

...but Friday I was over joyed to see a little penis on the sonagram screen.

That's right people I am having a little boy.

Joy is pouring out of our house.

So Friday morning I had to take myself to my appointment.  Hubby didn't make it because we didn't have anyone to put Lael on the bus. 

Boo.

But I was ok with it.

The tech that took me back was super sweet.  She spent a good 40-45 minutes checking every crevis.

Kidneys, brian, 2 arms, 2 legs, toes, fingers, heart, spine you name it, she measured it.

Everything looks great.  She said I'm about 2 days behind but they would leave my 22 May due date the same.

He is almost a pound and has a big head just like his daddy.

Oh and guess what.....

He sucks his thumb.  I could just eat him up.  But I can't.  Not yet at least.

So after that appointment I had another appointment with my OB.  She said everything looked great and that she had finally recieved my records from my C-Section with Lael and that I could totally have him naturally if I wanted.

Just in case she did have me sign C-Section papers ahead of time.

Once I go home me and hubby (who couldn't control his excitement ALL weekend) went to pick up D for the weekend.

She remembered that I had an appointment but I told her she had to wait until we got back to the house because Grandma was with Lael and I hadn't yet told her and wanted to tell them together.

Once we got home we had to wait 20 minutes or so for Grandma to bring Lael home.  At this point D was antsy.

Finally they got there and I let them both guess.  They both thought it was a boy.

When I smiled and told them they were right they leaped for joy.

Lael screamed and jumped up and down.

"I wished to God it would be a boy and my wish came true!"

"I knew it was a girl so I wished to God that he would change it to a boy and it worked, God is my best friend.....mom, do you have pictures of his private parts?"

Hilarious. I know.

I showed them the sonogram photos (privates included) and they just giggled at his "Tee Tee".

"That means we can go shopping!" Lael screamed. 

She didn't calm down all weekend.  Neither did D.

We went shopping Saturday and Sunday.

They were like little maniacs.

Trying to throw everything they could in the cart.  Clothes, diapers, pacifiers, shoes, stroller, cribs, you name it they wanted wanted it.

Hubby is coming up with RIDICULOUS names like Richard Wellington (Dick Well for short) or Ceasar (which means King).

Long story short.  It's gonna be a long 4 months. 

But it will totally worth it in May.

Who Wouldn’t Want A Cute Fairy To Wake Them?

One of Lael’s big Christmas requests was her very own alarm clock. She watches Hannah Montana, iCarly, True Jackson and all those other “big girl” shows on Nick and Disney. So of course I wasn’t surprised that she wanted a clock so that she could wake up on her own. Cute huh?

I could have found her a black, $5 clock at CVS that would have done the job. But where’s the cuteness factor in that? I searched the World Wide Web and found something I thought would fit her perfect.

Isn’t it A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E?!?

It has a steady light at the top and a switch button to light up a night light on it. It also has the radio and buzz feature like a regular alarm.

So of course I thought it would take FOREVER for her to get the hang of it. Sunday night before getting ready for bed to go back to school after Winter Break, I took it out of the box and got it all set up in her room.

I showed her how to hit SNOOZE and how to reach on the side and click it OFF. Yeah.

So Sunday night she ends up in the bed with me and I end up having to shut it off Monday morning.

Monday night she stays in her bed but sleeps through the alarms so I have to wake her Tuesday but I make her shut if off herself.

Wednesday morning she does wake up on her own with the alarm but hits snooze and pulls the covers back over herself. I don’t think so missy. I explain that when the alarm goes off she needs to turn it off, get up and get dressed.

I figured it would take forever for her to get the hang of THAT.

That’s what I thought until this morning. I was already dressed and downstairs putting her lunch in her bookbag. I hear the alarm off and held my breath.

I hear her turn it off immediately. Then it was quiet for about 30 seconds. Then I hear her little footsteps and then she yells down that she doesn’t have a shirt to put on.

I was so proud. She was getting herself ready but didn’t have her shirt because it was still in my hand. But she did it. All by herself.

Well almost.

While we were eating breakfast the alarm goes off again. She hit snooze but forgot to turn it off. Who cares right?

Nobody’s perfect. :o)

A New Year!

I can't believe I haven't posted since the 21st.

I won't bore you with the whole "this is what we did for Christmas" or " I did this on New Years".

All I will say is that it was great.  The girls were happy.  All my fears from before worked themselves out.

We ended up getting both of the girls DSi's and they were just as spoiled as before so all is well.

The only thing I regret was that I didn't put as much into Christmas as I usually do.  Lael didn't get to visit Santa this year, I didn't get any pictures taken and I didn't make cookies.  But we did do a ready to bake thing.  Shout out to Pillsbury!!

The pregnancy is going GREAT! I'll be 21 weeks in a few days.  Whoo Hoo!  I know I teased everyone a few weeks ago about finding out the sex but my appointment got screwed up.

Many suggested I should have thrown a tantrum right there in the middle of the hospital but I have more class than that.  Ahem.

So anywho, I have my Sonogram scheduled for 8am Friday morning.  I respectively I took the day off so that I can SHOP!  Well not really because Christmas broke me even more than I already was.  Don't you read my Tweets, hotdogs and beans and cereal it what we'll be eating for dinner.  Just kidding. Not not really.

That's about all that's going on over here.  I don't do New Year's resolutions too much.  It's just another way to beat myself up for not following through.  But I do want to try to waist less money this year.  I want to bring my lunch to work everyday and try to put more into my invisible savings account.  Yall have any resolutions?  Let me hear them.

Well here a few pics of Christmas to tie you over.  I'll post again tomorrow.  Maybe. I hope.  Ok at least by Friday.  Or Sunday.  Whatever.  It's my blog. :o)