There’s a guy I work with who has a 6 month old son and we had an office discussion about the right time to move your baby to their own room.
Ok. So I thought he was arguing that his wife wanted the baby to stay in their room and he wanted him out. It was the other way around. It was him that could not sleep unless his “boy” was right there next to them in his pack ‘n play.
I joined in on the discussion and explained to him what happened to me.
Lael came home from the hospital and I had her a Mozart playing, nightlight attached, vibrating bassinet. It was awesome. The problem? She could stand the damn thing. I would lay her on her back, swaddle her, prop her on her side. Nothing. She would only sleep right under my armpit. I admit it became easier to breastfeed that way but eventually she stopped breastfeeding.
When she was about 3 months I tried to move her to her crib. You know in the room that I painted, bordered, hung shit and overall made it the best looking room in the house. Nothing. She wasn’t having it. I couldn’t even get her to nap in the crib.
She turned 1. Still sleeping with us. She turned 2. Still slept with us. She turned 3 and my husband stopped sleeping in the bed because it drove him insane.
I bought her a toddler bed and put it on my side of the bed hoping to get her to sleep in her pretty pink Dora bed and eventually move her to her newly decorated room. You know? The one she NEVER slept in. Nothing.
So it began right before her 4th birthday. I had finally gotten fed up. By this time I gave away the toddler bed and bought her a twin bed and redecorated our third bedroom. Dora comforter, Dora border, Nightlight, the works. Nothing.
But this time I wasn’t giving in to her. I spent a week. I mean a whole 7 days breaking her free from my bed. It was torture. I had to get up every hour to walk her back to her bed. By the second day she would stay in her bed but scream for me. Not the ahhhhh type of scream, but the whatthefuckareyoudoingtome type of scream.
It hurt me so bad. I knew it was my fault because I should have done it earlier. She would scream and cry “ I just want you mommy!” and I would sit outside her bedroom door crying. It pained me to put her through this.
But eventually it was over. She slept. By the second week she would go through changes to keep me in her room longer during story time but in the end she would stay in her room all night.
Even now as she will be turning 6 soon she still has relapses. When she gets sick and I let her sleep with me for a day or two she will start waking up every night coming into my room and I have to fuss at her all over again.
So this morning wasn’t just me waking up with my baby in my bed. But instead the end of a battle that I know I will win in the end.
That is until I have my next child. *Sigh*
I have a lot of friends who have fought this exact same battle. One of the kids was so dependent on his mom to be there that now he has a sleep disorder. We were lucky - my son loved his pack and play for the most part and I was able to put him in his crib at 2 months because his nighttime noise drove me batshit. :)
ReplyDeleteOur 2-yo has been in her own bed, in a room shared with her older brother since she was 7 months old. It's actually worked well for us, but sometimes she still wakes up in the middle of the night, climbs out of her bed and makes her way to our room and climbs in with us. OR, she would cry for me and ask me to sleep with her in her little twin bed... I usually give in, because I don't want her to wake her brother who'd have school the next day, but I'd wake up all stiff and sore. This still happens at least 1-2x a week. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI have both of mine in bed with me. We are running out of room! I have tried the same thing making his room look so cute. He will look at me and say no mama and point to our room. I have to admit I would miss him if he weren't there. Oh well, I guess I will have to fight the same battle one day
ReplyDeleteBTW...how can you hate flying and pick the Air Force? That is too funny:)
Even though my daughters never shared a room with us, we had a problem in a similar vein. I had a hard time letting my first daughter cry in her room when she was little. I never let her cry at night, either. Which probably explains the nighttime problems we still have now. When my second daughter was born I was determined not to let it happen again. And I let her cry. She turned into a lovely sleeper.
ReplyDeleteYOU CAN DO IT!!
My oldest was an armpit sleeper too! When I saw your sidebar description "5 going on 15" --well our two must be kindred spirits! ;-) She's still the most needy sleeper of my three.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky that all of mine have taken to sleeping in a regular bed by a year and a half.
I could have written this, almost word for word. I have finally decided that there are worse things than having a baby (or 3) in my bed. Soon enough they'll be grown and I'll miss the days they wanted me to cuddle them! :)
ReplyDeleteI was a no mommy and baby in bed from the get go. there was no way I was going to have that happen. She drove me nuts when she was in my bed the few times I let her come in, nuts I tell you.
ReplyDeleteI was a no mommy and baby in bed from the get go. there was no way I was going to have that happen. She drove me nuts when she was in my bed the few times I let her come in, nuts I tell you.
ReplyDeleteyou have been tagged on my blog
ReplyDeleteOur daughter had colic - severly, so when I knew she was finally at a point where she could sleep through the night, if only I'd let her by not running into her room at every whimper and cry, I let her.
ReplyDeleteShe has very few problems now. Just when she's sick or it's storming.
Damn! Imagine 5 kids trying to sneak in your bed at night. Jabs and kicks everywhere! My husband and I should just move to the sofa, because the kids are taking over. At least the twins sleep in their crib. For now.
ReplyDeleteHugs and Mocha,
Stesha
I'm new to your site and started laughing out loud at your masthead. This is SO funny. Is that one of yours?
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the experience! Olivia is two and still sleeping in our bed. Unfortuately, there is no other room for her, but we're planning on getting the Dora toddler bed, lol, and getting her to sleep in it, instead of with us. Oh, boy, I'm scared now! lol
ReplyDelete