Monday, July 20, 2009

A Post In Which I Will Curse….A LOT

Alternately named: In Which I Wanted To RIP Her Braces Out Of Her MOUTH!!!

I went to see Harry Potter Saturday night. It was a GREAT movie, but the whole movie experience…

Let me give you a few reasons why it may be ok to wait for it to come on DVD.

*Teenage girl sitting next to her mother WITH braces DEVOURING popcorn with her mouth open using both hands (got the visual)

*Said teenage girls narrating EVERYSINGLEFUCKINGTHING to her mother who OBVIOUSLY hadn’t read the books

*Couple who brought newborn baby who obviously wasn’t movie trained

*Arriving to the movies 30 minutes early to pick the perfect seat and have latecomers DARE ask me to scooch. Hell to the No I won’t scooch. Asshole.

*Mother who brought her son who decides it’s ok to make phone calls and TALK on her phone DURING the movie. MORE THAN ONCE!!!

*Same mother who would used her bright as iPhone to illuminate the whole row so that she could dig through her purse looking for GODKNOWSWHAT.

*Little boy who shouldn’t have been in the movie who obviously needed to go see and ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) doctor because he sniffed the whole 2 ½ hours.

*The couple who brought their toddler that ran back and forth on the carpet like he was at the fucking playground.

But I’m not angry or anything. Just wanted to give you a few reasons while the next time I will bring pliers to wire that little girl’s mouth shut. I’m just sayin’


  1. This is why I rarely go to the movies. I always find the kid that likes to put his feet up on my seat - sooo annoying.

    I feel for ya.

  2. oh man we are too much alike....i have had way to many of those experiences!! ugh

  3. That's definitely NOT fun. Part of the reason why we just rent nowadays...

  4. Babies at thr movies? The worst!! I don't know WHY people do that. I know ALL about desperately needing to get out, but why sacrifice everyone else's good time because you couldn't find a babysitter? I was at the movies, one time, with a couple who had a baby that just would not quiet down, and the other movie goers actually APPLAUDED as they were exiting!

  5. My next post, "The Top 10 Reasons I Don't Want to Sit Behind THIS GIRL," will be dedicated to you and the quest of getting your money returned for that waste of an evening.

    (Honestly, though, I laughed just reading the title of your blog in my blog reader.)

  6. oh that is so annoying, that is why I like renting dvd's

  7. That is so frustrating! Especially since it costs approximately six billion dollars to see a movie these days.

  8. Cursing is good! Get it out...

    Movies are way too expensive to have this sort of crap going on. It is NOT okay.

  9. I totally hear you!

    We had a similar crowd situation when we went to Harry Potter last week. It was the 11am matinee on opening day, so we expected it to be crowded.

    As the previews started, a baby way up front started WAILING. Luckily for that kid, one of his parents whisked him promptly out of the theater, never to return, otherwise that kid could've been turned into an orphan...

    We also had the pleasure of having the Thimble Bladder-Haven't Eaten in Weeks Family sitting next to us in our row. Mom, Dad, three kids tween and under. Between Dad's incessant trips to the concession stand (and seriously, who buys some of that stuff? I know they *sell* it, but I never realized people actually purchased it.) and Mom and various kid combos needing to go to the bathroom like every ten minutes, we were constantly having to shift in our seats and having the movie interrupted with views of their Scooching Along the Row Rear Ends. Not the view I paid to see, KWIM?

    But all in all, I still wouldn't have wanted to miss seeing HP in the theater. :D


Those laughing with me...or at me.