Wednesday, August 26, 2009

This Is Your Notice

Dearest Lael,

Let me begin by telling you that mommy loves you.

Now that that's out the way let me explain how this is going to work.

You will go to bed on time from now on.

You will not have drinks 1hr before bed which will give you excuses to get out of bed.

There will be no tv watching while in your bed on a school night.

When I wake you up in the morning you will not swat at me.

I will not tell you to take a shower and then realize you are not in there but instead HIDING from me in the closet.

I will not carry you around. Unless you are bleeding from the eyes.

I will not pick you UP out of the shower and dry YOU off and put your clothes on FOR you. You are quite capable.

What will happen is:

You will get up, shower, get dressed, brush your teeth and sit your happy ass down until daddy takes you to the bus stop.

There must have been some confusion this morning and I am ok with that.

But consider this your notice.

You have been warned....................

With love and the power to punish,



  1. Oh, honey, good luck! Keep us updated on how "the program" is working!

  2. Can I please make a copy of this, change some names here and there, and put this up in my daughter's room. It is much needed in this house.

  3. Amen to this! I got swatted in the boob by mine today!

    And I love the part where you said "You will not have drinks", because I'm picturing her having a few cocktails before bed. Hee-hee.

  4. Oh man, this makes me scared of the first day of school with my little night owl. It's not going to be fun!

    Good luck to you!

  5. Hey--were you at my house?! My
    1st grader had the same issues.

  6. Amen!!!!

    I might need to blow this up and post it on every wall in the house!

  7. This is an AWESOME post. I'm still laughing. Especially at your "love and power to punish."

  8. oh, lord! did she make a tantrum?? lol

  9. Haha, I had the same exact idea as ymK! You don't mind, right? Cute post.

  10. printing this and putting it up on my kid's bedroom door.

    Well done

  11. The "happy ass" part absolutely cracks me up!


Those laughing with me...or at me.